"BILL THE BACKSTABBER"

*** ALL STARRED COMMENTS ARE MINE ***
From: Bill Connearney
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 9:28 PM
To: 'Wrocklage, Genny'
Subject: RE: Update
  Bummer, I just spent a lot of time writing my response
and the browser dumped. Let's try again.
  The eyes getting wet is not medical. When she would get her eyes wet in the shower she needs to have a towel to wipe them with. She preferred my shirt which I playfully complained about. A lot of wet shirts but it made her happy.  She loves to swim and I would tell her to gently wipe her eyes with her hands.
***Actually I always had her look up and rinsed her hair back. She didn't like water in her face and this took the drama/trauma out of hair washing. If he'd truly paid attention, he'd have known this!***
Food: I would suggest if they are not already doing so to eat at the table together. This creates a more family atmosphere and may encourage her to eat what is in front of her if she is included in if not the focus of a conversation.  She loves meatballs.  We would share spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread on our Saturdays together. She called it our special time.
  ***Once again answered by someone who didn't have a clue! Yes, she was picky. There were a few staples to her diet. Pasta was just one. She would eat oatmeal, any fruit but, Mango, yougurt, peanut butter toast,and a few others. She was usually willing to try something if I was eating it.***
Games: We called the belly game the DOH! game. When she ran into my belly I would say DOH! and fall backwards. This made her feel big and strong because she could knock me over. Funny story. The last time I got to take Ahmi to the park we were playing the DOH! game and the little girl we met at the park was busting up laughing at how much fun Ahmi was having. A 2 year old boy actually started doing the game to me. I let him. At the beach we would put a dog leash down and back up ten feet and race to pick it up. Somehow she always just beat me. Another was "Where's Diego" I would stand with Ahmi standing behind me facing my back holding my hands. and say Where's Diego? She would say look behind you. So we would spin 180 degrees and I would say "Where I don't see you?" This would go on again and again until I said "I guess I should just keep spinning around." So she was up in the air for a few spins and I would gently put her down. The she would crawl between my legs and say "Look between your legs". Then I would say" Oh! there you are! Hello MY Love. She would say Hi Daddy and then say Let's do it the whole time. Which is her version of repeatedly. She likes to play catch with her 10" princess ball and have tea parties. Puzzles with big pieces.
***Don't bother mentioning that she LOVES books, that she is used to 2 stories every night. That she prefers books that are geared towards 5-6 year olds. That she loves to do crafty things, practice writing, color, paint, play board games such as candy land, chutes and ladders, etc... That she loves walks around the block. That she was enrolled in gymnastics, had started swimming lessons the summer before. That she loves her small stuffed animal collection and would pretend they were real. That she's very attached to her blanket, uses the edge to "silk". That she's experienced night terrors from time to time since she was a baby and how to deal with them.***
Visits: I hear and understand  their concerns about me sharing their personal info with Lynn. I can only give you my word that I would not jeopardize any time I may be granted with Ahmi. I never knew how much love I could have until I got to know Ahmi. I love her more than anyone or anything. I don't know what to call the new parents in front of Ahmi. Are they referring to themselves as mom and dad? Assuming they are a heterosexual family.
  ***3 hours earlier he'd called me. Whining about the spousal support order I'd been awarded in court earlier that day. "I can't afford to pay you and maintain an apt., please move in with me, we'll work together to try and get her back..." Backstabbing piece of crap! His word means something! NOT!!***
Last I spoke with Lynn she said she would want Ahmi to still see me if she could not see her. She believes that Ahmi believes that we got rid of her and that we don't want her anymore and that if even one of us told her that we both still and always will love her that will have a greatly positive effect on her.
  ***I spoke the words above only in regard to myself. Egotistical pr&ck! Only in his imagination was he included! I NEVER said I'd still want him to see her! What I said was, I was haunted by the damage my sudden disappearance from her life would do to her emotionally. How I wished I'd been able to say goodbye and to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong. That I loved her always, forever, plus one more day. He even screwed that up in March 2011! He made a little video and couldn't even remember how I said it! Stupid sh&t! I don't mean to imply he didn't love her. He loved her as much as a narcissistic personality is capable of loving someone besides themselves. The sad fact is however, he never loved her enough to put her before himself. I had a bond with her that he never came close to! I respected their relationship, even though he didn't return that respect to her and I! Ex: Telling her I was evil. He had no self control over his mouth! No sense that it's not okay to say certain things to children.***
If only I could go back in time knowing what I know now I would have adopted Ahmi as soon as possible and you would have been done with us to go on to help other families. This has been and remains to be a deeply painful lesson. I miss her so much. But rest assured I will be nothing but positive and grateful toward Ahmi's new family.  
***Yes FREAKING DUMB ASS! How long did you drag your feet? As always, sorry comes, much too little, much too late! I begged you on my knees to love her more than you hated me! You turned your back on her! How is that love? I love her so much more than I hate the wrecker B&tch! I never said bad things to her about you! That's so much more than you could ever say! THE SAD TRUTH IS YOU NEVER LOVED HER MORE THAN YOURSELF! You never put her first! That's not love!***
As always please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you help Ahmi. Bill

*** She gave you a priceless, precious gift! Her complete love, trust, adoration! You threw it back in her face because you were not WORTHY!! YOU'LL NEVER RECEIVE SUCH A GIFT AGAIN! The sad thing is, you can't even understand or appreciate how sad that is. What a loss that truly is.***

"EMAIL I SENT TO WRECKER LAST NIGHT"

You're so stupid! If you'd asked me, re: hair washing, and her eyes. I always had her look up and rinsed back! As for your statements re: my upsetting Ahmi, not being supportive... You're an ignorant COW! I'd rather cut my tongue out then to ever x infinity hurt her emotionally! Unlike yourself, (and what you put her through those 2 days at Polinsky) I didn't emotionally and mentally abuse her! You did! Worthless Bitch! For you to try and blame Bill and I, instead of owning what you put her through...  I'd always freaking cooperated with you! Your comments in that email were unjustified, slanderous, and a figment of your own paranoid imagination! FYI: As much as I hate the air you breathe, I love Ahmi so much more! But, you being the judgemental c#nt that you are, put your own delusional conclusions on me! The thing is, if you'd been a decent human being and been honest with me, I'd have respected you for it. Instead, you were a disrespectful, skanky, back stabbing, liar! I trusted you and you betrayed that to the max! You can blow it all off in your typical snotty ass, know it all way. Inside I know the truth. That's what matters!   Bill is a passive- agressive narcesstic, controlling abuser. Yet, you couldn't kiss his ass enough! I wonder if I could raise the interest of Mike Turko/ news outlets re: how cps kissed up to an abusive, evil parasite! What goes around comes around. You'll get what's coming to you. My daily prayer is that Ahmi becomes a very rebellious teen! The substitutes will pay! Wait till I tell her the substitute put her own feelings above Ahmi's!  You think I was thrilled when S. popped up? No, it was nice not to have her drama around for 2 yrs. Yet, I was able to put myself in her shoes. My feelings were 3rd! That's a Mom! The substitute cow put her jealous insecurities 1st! Does she think Ahmi is the awesome child she is due to magic fairy dust?  No, regardless of the bullshit vomit that came from your mouth in court, it was because of the love and nurturing I showered on her! You didn't know her at all! Even she knew how extremely stupid your comment was re: errands. That was the #1 all time most worthless comment ever said to a traumatized child! You need child development because you have no clue! They're not little adults! They don't think like us! p.s. I knew your address 2 years ago. If you know so much and are so right about me, I'd have been at your door a longgg time ago! For a college educated, so called professional, you're pretty stupid re: life! I'm sure I'm not the 1st person you pissed off! Luckily, I fought back with words....

"BACK STABBERS, WRECKER AND EX..."

***All comments between* are mine. Found this email yesterday while cleaning out mail folders. Note the date, this was 8 days after the witch wrecked my world, was exposed as the lying back stabber she is, I'd just been to court re: spousal support(I won). My ex called me that night. Whining he couldn't afford to pay me and maintain an apt. He asked me to move in that very night. Allegedly, we'd work together to get Ahmi back. As I discovered later, all BS! I will post his part of conversation in a few days.***
Sent: Thu 2/3/2011 5:50 PM
To: Bill Connearney
Subject: Update
Hi, Bill.  I hope that you are doing ok. 
I saw AC today and she is doing very well considering.  She is happy and smiling often.  The family says that she talks a lot about you, more than Lynn for whatever reason.  (Perhaps she is just avoiding that other loss right now.)  She did so with me today, as well.  Today she was informed the Court's decision for her to remain with this family and because she internalizes she did not have as large of a reaction as I would have expected.  I waited a week to tell her because I thought moving to a new home and getting this news all at once was too much.  The family is going to be encouraging her to talk and let out her feelings, as I suggested her to do. They have been very good about honoring you and Lynn's name in their home and helping to keep her memories alive.  She actually has taught them a game she used to play with you where she runs into your belly and you make a noise. They play it in the home with her.
  ***It never occured to you witch that was because she was hurting inside, mad at me? Also, one of your many BS statements was,"She's talking about you too much. It interfers with the bond they're trying to build with her." Which is it? Liar!?***
I spoke to AC about you having her things and that I'm going to get them for her so she can have her old things at her new home. She would like to see you so we should plan on meeting at a park or somewhere in a couple of weeks. We can keep in touch about a day and time that will work. 
As much as I think AC should see Lynn too I am concerned about Lynn handling it emotionally and how this may affect AC.  I have to weigh the two and make the decision that I think is going to make her as comfortable as possible in her new home because it is something that isn't going to change, it's the Court's order.  I am afraid that Lynn isn't in a place to support the placement and this could have negative consequences for AC.  When parents don't support a child's new home it can feel scary to the child to go back there, "If my Mommy doesn't like it then I can't either". I have shared this with Lynn. The family seems open to having a visit with you in the future too, but they are concerned with their private info being shared with Lynn by you. We would have to feel that you could keep certain information private no matter what.  Having said this though I feel deeply for Lynn even though she doesn't believe me. I can't imagine what she is going through. I feel very, very sad for her. I don't know how she will ever rebound.
I have a couple of questions. Do you know of some dinners/food that AC likes?  She apparently says she likes things and then the family will cook it and she doesn't like it.  Maybe just a matter of different styles of preparing the dish. They want to make her meals she enjoys. 
Also, she says she can't get her eyes wet because it makes them tear. They are hoping this is just the common 4yo doesn't like water in her face stuff and doesn't have anything to do with her eye procedures. They wondered if you knew about this. 
Thanks for your time, Genny Wrocklage, MSW Protective Services Worker

***Witch you didn't even give me a freaking chance! Talking behind my back with a scum bag piece of crap liar, who KNOWS SQUAT!!! I was her primary caregiver, spent 24/7 with her. Bill didn't even freaking want her the first 2 years! You stupid piece of human trash!!

"DEAR SWEET AHMI GIRL(LITTLE ONE)"

Genny Wrocklage refused to allow us any chance for closure. No goodbye, no closure. 500+ days. I'm starting to realize the pain is mine to carry until the day we meet again.
Wow 5 1/2 years old! Not so little anymore! Kindergarten will be starting soon. Are you excited? I remember when you were 2. You wanted to go to big kid school. Like "your kids" Sam and A.J. What do you know? The time is almost here. I'm sure you've grown and learned so much over the past year and a half! I often wonder; Do you still like elephants, tea parties, the beach, flip flops, chocolate? Is Jasmine still your favorite princess? Do you still silk? I miss your silks! I bet your hair is so long! Like I always said, I'm sure you skipped breakfast the day they were handing out the good hair gene. I'm sure you were first in line! Lol! Do you still play little tricks to hear others laughter? I miss your sweet impish grin every day! I pray everyday that your heart is light and the sound of your sweet laughter is heard often. The sound of your laughter and giggles makes the world a much better place! I hope that wonderful sound often brightens the world around you! You deserve so much laughter and joy! I hope and pray you are happy and well! Although we weren't able to say goodbye, I've never stopped loving or thinking about you! I'm so very sorry that I just disappeared from your life without saying goodbye. I need you to know, understand, and to believe that it wasn't your fault! You could never do or say anything that would cause me to go away or to ever stop loving you! Ever since you were a little baby I've said,"I'll Love You Forever and Always Plus One More Day!" That has always been true. Forever and always it will be true! You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest, bestest little girl ever! Just as we always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside! That makes you very special! Lots of people have outer beauty. However, many of them don't have the beautiful heart that you do! It was a joy and a privilege to be a part of your life! Someday when you're grown, I would love to sit and share so many awesome memories with you. I have your scrapbook, baby journals, and your dvd. I will keep them safe until the day I pass them on to you alone! Every night I look up at the moon. I pray you giggled and laughed that day. I always say, "I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always plus One More Day!" Until the day we are reunited, I hold you close within my heart! Sending you tons of hugs and kisses, and oceans full of love! Mom p.s. Chris and Terry are having a baby girl in Sept. Right after school starts. Her name will be Adriana Rose. I'm making a pink and white blanket for her. Also making a small scrapbook. Well, I'm decorating the pages. They'll add the pics. I LOVE YOU!

529 LONG, LONELY DAYS

Of course time marches on. Two 4th of July celebrations have now come and gone. My sweetest Ahmi girl I hope that you had an awesome day! That you giggled and laughed. Your happiness and joy lights up the world around you! I can only imagine how much you've grown! How much you've learned! I so enjoyed observing and encouraging your thirst for knowledge. It was such a privilage and honor to be part of your life. You were an awesome baby! I'm sure you're growing into an awesome little girl! I pray everyday your heart is light and care free. Someday when we meet again, I will share all our special moments and times with you. I wait and pray for the day we can sit together and talk. I'm sorry about any pain and/or anger you may feel inside as you grow. I can only hope one day for a chance to respond to any lies you may have been told. Also, to answer all the questions you'll have regarding your 1st years. Your first tooth, solid foods, sitting up, etc... It's all in your baby journals and scrapbook. I also saved a diary re: your birth Mom. I will keep it all for you. They took you away, please understand I couldn't let the journals go as well. I understand there will be holes regarding your baby and toddler years until some time passes. I apologize for that however, they stole you so quickly, allowed us no good bye. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone sharing what belongs exclusively to you and I. I do promise to keep them safe until the day I place them in your hands. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer sweetest girl! As always, I pray you giggled and laughed today. I Love You Forever and Always, Plus One More Day! Kisses and Hugs, Mom

"DEAR SOCIAL WRECKER"

Dear Genny Wrocklage aka Wrecklage or Social Wrecker, How has the past 16 months been for you? I'm sure you haven't lost any sleep or been so depressed all you could do was cry for days at a time. You wouldn't know anything about that. After all, you're in the business of wrecking lives and moving on right? I'm sure you must have no conscience. Otherwise how could you face yourself in the mirror day after day. Knowing what you've done. That you're in bed with an evil agency that rips children away from parents who love them and deposits them with strangers and the hell with any emotional damage along the way. After all, you've done your job right? The federal government pays the bounty and you're on to the next victim. Who gives a crap about the trauma done? You must be one cold hearted, evil bitch to work for such a demonic system! You made it much worse with the lies you spoke so readily. I never saw it coming. You had me so fooled right till the end. Right up till the day in court when you stuck that knife in my back! Good for you bitch! You did a great snow job on me. "I know she's your daughter. I've got your back. I know you two belong together." Lying, evil bitch! I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. What a fool I was! You showed me! Then you have the balls to come up to me seeking praise for the bull crap lies you'd just testified to in court?! Tell me, do you ever give Ahmi a second thought? Are you that sure about what you've done? Screw the emotional abuse and damage. One more check for the system! I want you to know, with medication and the help of a great therepist, I'm emerging from the black hell you condemned me to last year. However, I also want you to know, I hate your freaking guts as much as ever and I always will. Because I gave my trust to you and you ground it into the dirt. You stabbed me in the back so completely! That's why I will always hate the air you breathe. I know karma will catch you sooner or later. You will so deserve it! BTW I've known your address for more than a year. If all the vomit that came from your mouth about me was true, I would have used that knowledge in an evil way. I'm surprised someone with your education is so street stupid! I'm sure I'm not the first one you've pissed off. If I were you I'd be a little more cautious with my personal life and info. Someone who doesn't possess the restraint I have, may just come knocking one of these days. See you in Hell Bitch!

"EASTER TIME AGAIN"

Hello my sweetest Ahmi girl. Happy Easter and Happiest Spring! The 2nd Easter has passed since I saw your beautiful face. Although, the holiday is changed for now and I missed you as much as always. I'm trying to remain true to my resolution. One less Easter (hopefully) till we are together once more. Until then, I wish you all the happiness you so deserve, the laughter and the giggles that are your gift to the world around you, and the lightest of hearts unscarred from pain. I pray you giggled and laughed today Sweetest of all girls. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! xoxo Mom

"LIES V. TRUTH"

As far back as I can remember, my Mother seemed to prefer lying over the truth. My third and youngest brother was born a little bit less than 2 months before I turned 7. I very clearly remember when she told me it was a boy, I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was playing a cruel trick on me since she knew how much I wanted a sister. It wasn't until I saw his diaper being changed that I knew it was true. My first words upon seeing the truth,"Take him back and trade him in for a girl." Of course we kept him. I love him very much and those words were only my childish disappointment. My adult brain thinks back on that experience and I've often asked myself, why would my first reaction be of non belief re: my Mother's words? I was almost 7 yet already I'd learned my Mother couldn't be trusted. I won't go into the details but, yes, due to cruel things she'd done and lies I'd heard her speak, I'd already discovered my Mother was mean sometimes and didn't always tell the truth. Around the same time, my 2 younger brothers and I were upstairs in my parents bedroom jumping on the bed. My Dad who was in the Living room right below us, called for us to come down. He asked each of us in turn, "were you jumping on the bed?" I answered truthfully, "yes Dad." My brothers, I suppose trying to avoid getting into trouble, both said "no." They both had to stand in the corner. I didn't because, my Dad said, "Lynn told the truth." So many years later and that lesson is still a part of me! To this day, I respect someone who speaks the truth! Truth may sometimes hurt but, it's the right way to go. ALWAYS! I hate a liar. It's the worst thing someone can do to me. If Genny Wrocklege had had the decency and self respect to be truthful with me, I in turn would have respected that. Instead she lied, stabbed me in the back, walked all over the trust I'd placed in her. That's why forever and always, IMO, she's a waste of the air she breathes. To be in her position, as far as I'm concerned, wreckers are obligated to treat people with; truth, dignity, and respect. SHE FAILED! May she rot! I love you Ahmi girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day! I pray you giggled and laughed today and that your heart is light! xxoo Mom

"HAVE CHILDREN BECOME THE STATES SECRET BOUNTY?"

The Federal Government does pay the state a set bounty on each child adopted from the system. There's also an Adoption Assistance Payment paid to the family each month until the child turns 18. There's also a one time $10,000 tax credit. In fact, we were told during our home study, We qualified for the AAP. That our daughter was considered special needs simply because she was in the system! Even though, we'd raised her from 3 months and her verbal and math skills had scored at a 6/7 year old level before she was even 4! Anyways, the other day the subject of the bounty came up. I began to think and wonder about the children adopted from the system, and the $$ paid out to each of the 50 states. If IRC, it's $4,000 per child.(Disabled children somewhat higher) Three questions came to mind; How many children are adopted each year per state? How much $ does each state receive? How is it recorded and spent? I guess the answers to my questions exist somewhere. If it's public knowledge? I have no idea where the information might be obtained. I believe the Clinton administration had the best intentions when signing the Adoption and Safe Families Act in 1997. When parents can't get it together and get their children back in a timely manner, their children do deserve a loving, stable home. No child should grow up in the system. However, I think they made a huge mistake including the financial incentives/payouts to the State as part of the final law. After all, if "money is the root of all evil", what has been bred the last 15 years within the "CPS" Agency we know today? Considering how much disrespect and degragation parents are shown, is there any interest/incentive in preserving families? In the past year I've asked myself one question many times. How does disrespecting and demeaning parents help to strenghten and reunite families? I know from personal experience that dealing with the system completely strips away someones self esteem. You feel like a complete piece of crap by the time they're done with you. It seems all they want is to have complete control over you and your life. God forbid you don't fall to your knees and do everything they say, exactly how they say to, when they say to do it. I believe the politicians need to try again. IMO, The financial incentives/payments to the State need to be removed from the law. Seems to me, the money has only succeeded in breeding corruption and abuse within a broken system. Power in the wrong hands that is completely out of control! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adoption_and_Safe_Families_Act

"ONE AWFUL YEAR"

The 24th of this month will mark the first anniversary of the day my world was forever ripped apart. One horrendous, devastating, living nightmare, of a year since I held my darling Ahmi girl. Kissed her sweet face. Smelled her hair. Heard her voice. One year since I learned the hard way that the trust I'd placed in Genny Wrocklage was indeed misplaced. Looking back, I feel like the biggest, most gullible fool! Lots of people tried to warn me re: wreckers. "Don't trust them. They're not on your side. They'll turn on you w/out warning..." I always brushed off the negative comments. I always said, "No, no she's not like that. She has my back. She's on our side..." I believed it and her until that final day. I fell for everything she told me. Hook, line, and sinker! Even after the 2 days that she mentally and emotionally abused Ahmi and I. I told myself she really was as busy with work as she claimed. Even after she tried to place the blame on hus. and myself for the resulting meltdown my baby suffered! Until the day she stood up in a court of law and I heard the lies that came out of her mouth. It was only then that I finally realized the truth. I'd trusted and believed her. She'd played me for a FOOL! She was nothing but, an evil, lying, backstabbing, two faced bitch. I recently sent her an email. I asked her how does it feel to wreck a child's life and how does one just move on? I wonder how can that person face themselves in the mirror? Do they just shrug it off and move on to their next victim? Do they ever think back and second guess their actions/decisions? I didn't bother asking the last question. Not that I received or even expected any answer at all. One of the sickest ironies is that my soon to be ex, still believes that; "she had no choice, didn't want to hurt Ahmi or us, that she's a good person w/ a difficult job..." RETCH!!! He tells me, I should leave her in peace! Again, RETCH!! Until karma catches up to the bitch, it's not going to be possible! I did misplace my trust in her. However, she's the evil, black hearted bitch who lied to my face! Over and over! There is just no way I can let that go! He might maintain his naivety and blindness. Not me! My eyes were opened wide and fast on 1/25/12 when I heard the BS erupting from her lying mouth! Then her continued evilness. Denying Ahmi and I any kind of closure. Her true self was revealed in court and topped off w/ her final decision. I hate her freaking guts and am certain if I heard she'd died, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from dancing w/ glee! (Sorry God.) No, I'm sorry, the system SUCKS and is broken in so many ways. The people in charge at the agency are power hungry, control freaks! They are out of control and desperately need to be reeled in and put in check! I love you sweetest girl! I pray you giggled and laughed today! Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Happiest New Year my sweetest little love! Ahmi sweet girl I hope your holiday and birthday were happy! You so greatly deserve only happiness! Every moment of every day you are in my heart and in my thoughts. Two days are approaching fast that I've anticipated with dread. The day you were taken from me. Then the day Genny Wrocklage lied and betrayed us in court before she gave you away to the substitutes. 2011 was the most difficult and challenging year I've ever faced. I must admit I was glad to see it come to an end. I've resolved to embrace all future holidays/milestones rather than to dread them. Because I've come to realize, that each one that passes, brings our possible reunion one step closer. Every night I pray that you giggled and laughed that wonderful laugh of yours that always embraced everyone around you. I also pray your pain has lessened. I don't want any burden carried upon your shoulders. You were an innocent victim of bad decisions made by 2 adults you trusted (who regrettably, let you down) and a broken corrupt system run by people who are so caught up in the fantasy of being gods they've lost all sense of their humanity. I don't know what you've been told, I need you to know there are two sides to every story and I hope to have the chance to tell you mine. I Love you now as much as I always have, as much as I always will! From this moment on, I will welcome each passing day with appreciation. I will remember for each special day we miss, we are one day closer to the reunion I dream of and look forward to. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom