When I started this blog in July 2011, I was broken. The monsters who are in charge of the so called "Child Protective Services" in particular, Genny Wrocklage, had destroyed my world. I take responsibility for choices I made. However, that gave the witch no license to lie to my face, stab me in the back, traumatize an innocent child and worst of all, not allow us to say goodbye. Instead the bitch made decisions that were adult based. That ignored and stepped on the loving bond my sweet Ahmi girl and I shared. Her only reasoning was it threatened the substitutes. She didn't give a crap about the pain she'd cause to Ahmi! Yet, she's supposedly for "the best interests of children." The whole agency has turned into a corrupted pile of DOG CRAP! I live for the day they will be put in check! Well, I've come a long way since that summer day a year and a half ago. I'm now divorced and will have all my ex's money (the one thing he truly cares about). This blog is forever tied to the witch who lied to my face. Thanks to family court, I've found a sense of healing and peace. I know my girl will look for me. The heart doesn't forget. God brought her and I together and he won't forsake us! I just have to be patient, build my new future, and wait! Thank God for the power of the Internet! Thank you to all my readers. Putting the story out there was a big step in my healing! I miss my girl every minute of every day. I'll love her forever and always plus one more day. I know she'll look for me and I'll be waiting with open arms! If you're going through your own hell with the as$holes, I pray you find your way through. Hold tight to your self esteem! Remember, you're so much better/more than what they say. They thrive on ripping people apart. They're trash! Hopefully there will be change one day soon! Keep fighting and speaking out! I will! Don't know if this will truly be the last post. Death and taxes are the only sure things in life. If anything comes up, I will post it. For now it's time to concentrate on building my new life. Love and Thanks to all. I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always, plus One more Day!xoxo Mom Lynn Connearney
Showing posts with label Forever and Always plus One more Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forever and Always plus One more Day. Show all posts
Jan 29, 2013
"GOOD BYE FOR NOW"
When I started this blog in July 2011, I was broken. The monsters who are in charge of the so called "Child Protective Services" in particular, Genny Wrocklage, had destroyed my world. I take responsibility for choices I made. However, that gave the witch no license to lie to my face, stab me in the back, traumatize an innocent child and worst of all, not allow us to say goodbye. Instead the bitch made decisions that were adult based. That ignored and stepped on the loving bond my sweet Ahmi girl and I shared. Her only reasoning was it threatened the substitutes. She didn't give a crap about the pain she'd cause to Ahmi! Yet, she's supposedly for "the best interests of children." The whole agency has turned into a corrupted pile of DOG CRAP! I live for the day they will be put in check! Well, I've come a long way since that summer day a year and a half ago. I'm now divorced and will have all my ex's money (the one thing he truly cares about). This blog is forever tied to the witch who lied to my face. Thanks to family court, I've found a sense of healing and peace. I know my girl will look for me. The heart doesn't forget. God brought her and I together and he won't forsake us! I just have to be patient, build my new future, and wait! Thank God for the power of the Internet! Thank you to all my readers. Putting the story out there was a big step in my healing! I miss my girl every minute of every day. I'll love her forever and always plus one more day. I know she'll look for me and I'll be waiting with open arms! If you're going through your own hell with the as$holes, I pray you find your way through. Hold tight to your self esteem! Remember, you're so much better/more than what they say. They thrive on ripping people apart. They're trash! Hopefully there will be change one day soon! Keep fighting and speaking out! I will! Don't know if this will truly be the last post. Death and taxes are the only sure things in life. If anything comes up, I will post it. For now it's time to concentrate on building my new life. Love and Thanks to all. I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always, plus One more Day!xoxo Mom Lynn Connearney
Sep 24, 2012
"BILL THE BACKSTABBER"
*** ALL STARRED COMMENTS ARE MINE ***
From: Bill Connearney
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 9:28 PM
To: 'Wrocklage, Genny'
Subject: RE: Update
Bummer, I just spent a lot of time writing my response
and the browser dumped. Let's try again.
The eyes getting wet is not medical. When she would get her eyes wet in the shower she needs to have a towel to wipe them with. She preferred my shirt which I playfully complained about. A lot of wet shirts but it made her happy. She loves to swim and I would tell her to gently wipe her eyes with her hands.
***Actually I always had her look up and rinsed her hair back. She didn't like water in her face and this took the drama/trauma out of hair washing. If he'd truly paid attention, he'd have known this!***
Food: I would suggest if they are not already doing so to eat at the table together. This creates a more family atmosphere and may encourage her to eat what is in front of her if she is included in if not the focus of a conversation. She loves meatballs. We would share spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread on our Saturdays together. She called it our special time.
***Once again answered by someone who didn't have a clue! Yes, she was picky. There were a few staples to her diet. Pasta was just one. She would eat oatmeal, any fruit but, Mango, yougurt, peanut butter toast,and a few others. She was usually willing to try something if I was eating it.***
Games: We called the belly game the DOH! game. When she ran into my belly I would say DOH! and fall backwards. This made her feel big and strong because she could knock me over. Funny story. The last time I got to take Ahmi to the park we were playing the DOH! game and the little girl we met at the park was busting up laughing at how much fun Ahmi was having. A 2 year old boy actually started doing the game to me. I let him. At the beach we would put a dog leash down and back up ten feet and race to pick it up. Somehow she always just beat me. Another was "Where's Diego" I would stand with Ahmi standing behind me facing my back holding my hands. and say Where's Diego? She would say look behind you. So we would spin 180 degrees and I would say "Where I don't see you?" This would go on again and again until I said "I guess I should just keep spinning around." So she was up in the air for a few spins and I would gently put her down. The she would crawl between my legs and say "Look between your legs". Then I would say" Oh! there you are! Hello MY Love. She would say Hi Daddy and then say Let's do it the whole time. Which is her version of repeatedly. She likes to play catch with her 10" princess ball and have tea parties. Puzzles with big pieces.
***Don't bother mentioning that she LOVES books, that she is used to 2 stories every night. That she prefers books that are geared towards 5-6 year olds. That she loves to do crafty things, practice writing, color, paint, play board games such as candy land, chutes and ladders, etc... That she loves walks around the block. That she was enrolled in gymnastics, had started swimming lessons the summer before. That she loves her small stuffed animal collection and would pretend they were real. That she's very attached to her blanket, uses the edge to "silk". That she's experienced night terrors from time to time since she was a baby and how to deal with them.***
Visits: I hear and understand their concerns about me sharing their personal info with Lynn. I can only give you my word that I would not jeopardize any time I may be granted with Ahmi. I never knew how much love I could have until I got to know Ahmi. I love her more than anyone or anything. I don't know what to call the new parents in front of Ahmi. Are they referring to themselves as mom and dad? Assuming they are a heterosexual family.
***3 hours earlier he'd called me. Whining about the spousal support order I'd been awarded in court earlier that day. "I can't afford to pay you and maintain an apt., please move in with me, we'll work together to try and get her back..." Backstabbing piece of crap! His word means something! NOT!!***
Last I spoke with Lynn she said she would want Ahmi to still see me if she could not see her. She believes that Ahmi believes that we got rid of her and that we don't want her anymore and that if even one of us told her that we both still and always will love her that will have a greatly positive effect on her.
***I spoke the words above only in regard to myself. Egotistical pr&ck! Only in his imagination was he included! I NEVER said I'd still want him to see her! What I said was, I was haunted by the damage my sudden disappearance from her life would do to her emotionally. How I wished I'd been able to say goodbye and to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong. That I loved her always, forever, plus one more day. He even screwed that up in March 2011! He made a little video and couldn't even remember how I said it! Stupid sh&t! I don't mean to imply he didn't love her. He loved her as much as a narcissistic personality is capable of loving someone besides themselves. The sad fact is however, he never loved her enough to put her before himself. I had a bond with her that he never came close to! I respected their relationship, even though he didn't return that respect to her and I! Ex: Telling her I was evil. He had no self control over his mouth! No sense that it's not okay to say certain things to children.***
If only I could go back in time knowing what I know now I would have adopted Ahmi as soon as possible and you would have been done with us to go on to help other families. This has been and remains to be a deeply painful lesson. I miss her so much. But rest assured I will be nothing but positive and grateful toward Ahmi's new family.
***Yes FREAKING DUMB ASS! How long did you drag your feet? As always, sorry comes, much too little, much too late! I begged you on my knees to love her more than you hated me! You turned your back on her! How is that love? I love her so much more than I hate the wrecker B&tch! I never said bad things to her about you! That's so much more than you could ever say! THE SAD TRUTH IS YOU NEVER LOVED HER MORE THAN YOURSELF! You never put her first! That's not love!***
As always please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you help Ahmi. Bill
*** She gave you a priceless, precious gift! Her complete love, trust, adoration! You threw it back in her face because you were not WORTHY!! YOU'LL NEVER RECEIVE SUCH A GIFT AGAIN! The sad thing is, you can't even understand or appreciate how sad that is. What a loss that truly is.***From: Bill Connearney
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 9:28 PM
To: 'Wrocklage, Genny'
Subject: RE: Update
Bummer, I just spent a lot of time writing my response
and the browser dumped. Let's try again.
The eyes getting wet is not medical. When she would get her eyes wet in the shower she needs to have a towel to wipe them with. She preferred my shirt which I playfully complained about. A lot of wet shirts but it made her happy. She loves to swim and I would tell her to gently wipe her eyes with her hands.
***Actually I always had her look up and rinsed her hair back. She didn't like water in her face and this took the drama/trauma out of hair washing. If he'd truly paid attention, he'd have known this!***
Food: I would suggest if they are not already doing so to eat at the table together. This creates a more family atmosphere and may encourage her to eat what is in front of her if she is included in if not the focus of a conversation. She loves meatballs. We would share spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread on our Saturdays together. She called it our special time.
***Once again answered by someone who didn't have a clue! Yes, she was picky. There were a few staples to her diet. Pasta was just one. She would eat oatmeal, any fruit but, Mango, yougurt, peanut butter toast,and a few others. She was usually willing to try something if I was eating it.***
Games: We called the belly game the DOH! game. When she ran into my belly I would say DOH! and fall backwards. This made her feel big and strong because she could knock me over. Funny story. The last time I got to take Ahmi to the park we were playing the DOH! game and the little girl we met at the park was busting up laughing at how much fun Ahmi was having. A 2 year old boy actually started doing the game to me. I let him. At the beach we would put a dog leash down and back up ten feet and race to pick it up. Somehow she always just beat me. Another was "Where's Diego" I would stand with Ahmi standing behind me facing my back holding my hands. and say Where's Diego? She would say look behind you. So we would spin 180 degrees and I would say "Where I don't see you?" This would go on again and again until I said "I guess I should just keep spinning around." So she was up in the air for a few spins and I would gently put her down. The she would crawl between my legs and say "Look between your legs". Then I would say" Oh! there you are! Hello MY Love. She would say Hi Daddy and then say Let's do it the whole time. Which is her version of repeatedly. She likes to play catch with her 10" princess ball and have tea parties. Puzzles with big pieces.
***Don't bother mentioning that she LOVES books, that she is used to 2 stories every night. That she prefers books that are geared towards 5-6 year olds. That she loves to do crafty things, practice writing, color, paint, play board games such as candy land, chutes and ladders, etc... That she loves walks around the block. That she was enrolled in gymnastics, had started swimming lessons the summer before. That she loves her small stuffed animal collection and would pretend they were real. That she's very attached to her blanket, uses the edge to "silk". That she's experienced night terrors from time to time since she was a baby and how to deal with them.***
Visits: I hear and understand their concerns about me sharing their personal info with Lynn. I can only give you my word that I would not jeopardize any time I may be granted with Ahmi. I never knew how much love I could have until I got to know Ahmi. I love her more than anyone or anything. I don't know what to call the new parents in front of Ahmi. Are they referring to themselves as mom and dad? Assuming they are a heterosexual family.
***3 hours earlier he'd called me. Whining about the spousal support order I'd been awarded in court earlier that day. "I can't afford to pay you and maintain an apt., please move in with me, we'll work together to try and get her back..." Backstabbing piece of crap! His word means something! NOT!!***
Last I spoke with Lynn she said she would want Ahmi to still see me if she could not see her. She believes that Ahmi believes that we got rid of her and that we don't want her anymore and that if even one of us told her that we both still and always will love her that will have a greatly positive effect on her.
***I spoke the words above only in regard to myself. Egotistical pr&ck! Only in his imagination was he included! I NEVER said I'd still want him to see her! What I said was, I was haunted by the damage my sudden disappearance from her life would do to her emotionally. How I wished I'd been able to say goodbye and to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong. That I loved her always, forever, plus one more day. He even screwed that up in March 2011! He made a little video and couldn't even remember how I said it! Stupid sh&t! I don't mean to imply he didn't love her. He loved her as much as a narcissistic personality is capable of loving someone besides themselves. The sad fact is however, he never loved her enough to put her before himself. I had a bond with her that he never came close to! I respected their relationship, even though he didn't return that respect to her and I! Ex: Telling her I was evil. He had no self control over his mouth! No sense that it's not okay to say certain things to children.***
If only I could go back in time knowing what I know now I would have adopted Ahmi as soon as possible and you would have been done with us to go on to help other families. This has been and remains to be a deeply painful lesson. I miss her so much. But rest assured I will be nothing but positive and grateful toward Ahmi's new family.
***Yes FREAKING DUMB ASS! How long did you drag your feet? As always, sorry comes, much too little, much too late! I begged you on my knees to love her more than you hated me! You turned your back on her! How is that love? I love her so much more than I hate the wrecker B&tch! I never said bad things to her about you! That's so much more than you could ever say! THE SAD TRUTH IS YOU NEVER LOVED HER MORE THAN YOURSELF! You never put her first! That's not love!***
As always please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you help Ahmi. Bill
Aug 2, 2012
"DEAR SWEET AHMI GIRL(LITTLE ONE)"
Genny Wrocklage refused to allow us any chance for closure. No goodbye, no closure. 500+ days. I'm starting to realize the pain is mine to carry until the day we meet again.
Wow 5 1/2 years old! Not so little anymore! Kindergarten will be starting soon. Are you excited? I remember when you were 2. You wanted to go to big kid school. Like "your kids" Sam and A.J. What do you know? The time is almost here. I'm sure you've grown and learned so much over the past year and a half! I often wonder; Do you still like elephants, tea parties, the beach, flip flops, chocolate? Is Jasmine still your favorite princess? Do you still silk? I miss your silks! I bet your hair is so long! Like I always said, I'm sure you skipped breakfast the day they were handing out the good hair gene. I'm sure you were first in line! Lol! Do you still play little tricks to hear others laughter? I miss your sweet impish grin every day! I pray everyday that your heart is light and the sound of your sweet laughter is heard often. The sound of your laughter and giggles makes the world a much better place! I hope that wonderful sound often brightens the world around you! You deserve so much laughter and joy! I hope and pray you are happy and well! Although we weren't able to say goodbye, I've never stopped loving or thinking about you! I'm so very sorry that I just disappeared from your life without saying goodbye. I need you to know, understand, and to believe that it wasn't your fault! You could never do or say anything that would cause me to go away or to ever stop loving you! Ever since you were a little baby I've said,"I'll Love You Forever and Always Plus One More Day!" That has always been true. Forever and always it will be true! You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest, bestest little girl ever! Just as we always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside! That makes you very special! Lots of people have outer beauty. However, many of them don't have the beautiful heart that you do! It was a joy and a privilege to be a part of your life! Someday when you're grown, I would love to sit and share so many awesome memories with you. I have your scrapbook, baby journals, and your dvd. I will keep them safe until the day I pass them on to you alone! Every night I look up at the moon. I pray you giggled and laughed that day. I always say, "I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always plus One More Day!" Until the day we are reunited, I hold you close within my heart! Sending you tons of hugs and kisses, and oceans full of love! Mom p.s. Chris and Terry are having a baby girl in Sept. Right after school starts. Her name will be Adriana Rose. I'm making a pink and white blanket for her. Also making a small scrapbook. Well, I'm decorating the pages. They'll add the pics. I LOVE YOU!
Wow 5 1/2 years old! Not so little anymore! Kindergarten will be starting soon. Are you excited? I remember when you were 2. You wanted to go to big kid school. Like "your kids" Sam and A.J. What do you know? The time is almost here. I'm sure you've grown and learned so much over the past year and a half! I often wonder; Do you still like elephants, tea parties, the beach, flip flops, chocolate? Is Jasmine still your favorite princess? Do you still silk? I miss your silks! I bet your hair is so long! Like I always said, I'm sure you skipped breakfast the day they were handing out the good hair gene. I'm sure you were first in line! Lol! Do you still play little tricks to hear others laughter? I miss your sweet impish grin every day! I pray everyday that your heart is light and the sound of your sweet laughter is heard often. The sound of your laughter and giggles makes the world a much better place! I hope that wonderful sound often brightens the world around you! You deserve so much laughter and joy! I hope and pray you are happy and well! Although we weren't able to say goodbye, I've never stopped loving or thinking about you! I'm so very sorry that I just disappeared from your life without saying goodbye. I need you to know, understand, and to believe that it wasn't your fault! You could never do or say anything that would cause me to go away or to ever stop loving you! Ever since you were a little baby I've said,"I'll Love You Forever and Always Plus One More Day!" That has always been true. Forever and always it will be true! You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest, bestest little girl ever! Just as we always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside! That makes you very special! Lots of people have outer beauty. However, many of them don't have the beautiful heart that you do! It was a joy and a privilege to be a part of your life! Someday when you're grown, I would love to sit and share so many awesome memories with you. I have your scrapbook, baby journals, and your dvd. I will keep them safe until the day I pass them on to you alone! Every night I look up at the moon. I pray you giggled and laughed that day. I always say, "I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always plus One More Day!" Until the day we are reunited, I hold you close within my heart! Sending you tons of hugs and kisses, and oceans full of love! Mom p.s. Chris and Terry are having a baby girl in Sept. Right after school starts. Her name will be Adriana Rose. I'm making a pink and white blanket for her. Also making a small scrapbook. Well, I'm decorating the pages. They'll add the pics. I LOVE YOU!
Apr 9, 2012
"EASTER TIME AGAIN"
Hello my sweetest Ahmi girl. Happy Easter and Happiest Spring! The 2nd Easter has passed since I saw your beautiful face. Although, the holiday is changed for now and I missed you as much as always. I'm trying to remain true to my resolution. One less Easter (hopefully) till we are together once more. Until then, I wish you all the happiness you so deserve, the laughter and the giggles that are your gift to the world around you, and the lightest of hearts unscarred from pain. I pray you giggled and laughed today Sweetest of all girls. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! xoxo Mom
Feb 28, 2012
"LIES V. TRUTH"
As far back as I can remember, my Mother seemed to prefer lying over the truth. My third and youngest brother was born a little bit less than 2 months before I turned 7. I very clearly remember when she told me it was a boy, I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was playing a cruel trick on me since she knew how much I wanted a sister. It wasn't until I saw his diaper being changed that I knew it was true. My first words upon seeing the truth,"Take him back and trade him in for a girl." Of course we kept him. I love him very much and those words were only my childish disappointment. My adult brain thinks back on that experience and I've often asked myself, why would my first reaction be of non belief re: my Mother's words? I was almost 7 yet already I'd learned my Mother couldn't be trusted. I won't go into the details but, yes, due to cruel things she'd done and lies I'd heard her speak, I'd already discovered my Mother was mean sometimes and didn't always tell the truth. Around the same time, my 2 younger brothers and I were upstairs in my parents bedroom jumping on the bed. My Dad who was in the Living room right below us, called for us to come down. He asked each of us in turn, "were you jumping on the bed?" I answered truthfully, "yes Dad." My brothers, I suppose trying to avoid getting into trouble, both said "no." They both had to stand in the corner. I didn't because, my Dad said, "Lynn told the truth." So many years later and that lesson is still a part of me! To this day, I respect someone who speaks the truth! Truth may sometimes hurt but, it's the right way to go. ALWAYS! I hate a liar. It's the worst thing someone can do to me. If Genny Wrocklege had had the decency and self respect to be truthful with me, I in turn would have respected that. Instead she lied, stabbed me in the back, walked all over the trust I'd placed in her. That's why forever and always, IMO, she's a waste of the air she breathes. To be in her position, as far as I'm concerned, wreckers are obligated to treat people with; truth, dignity, and respect. SHE FAILED! May she rot! I love you Ahmi girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day! I pray you giggled and laughed today and that your heart is light! xxoo Mom
Jan 16, 2012
"ONE AWFUL YEAR"
The 24th of this month will mark the first anniversary of the day my world was forever ripped apart. One horrendous, devastating, living nightmare, of a year since I held my darling Ahmi girl. Kissed her sweet face. Smelled her hair. Heard her voice. One year since I learned the hard way that the trust I'd placed in Genny Wrocklage was indeed misplaced. Looking back, I feel like the biggest, most gullible fool! Lots of people tried to warn me re: wreckers. "Don't trust them. They're not on your side. They'll turn on you w/out warning..." I always brushed off the negative comments. I always said, "No, no she's not like that. She has my back. She's on our side..." I believed it and her until that final day. I fell for everything she told me. Hook, line, and sinker! Even after the 2 days that she mentally and emotionally abused Ahmi and I. I told myself she really was as busy with work as she claimed. Even after she tried to place the blame on hus. and myself for the resulting meltdown my baby suffered! Until the day she stood up in a court of law and I heard the lies that came out of her mouth. It was only then that I finally realized the truth. I'd trusted and believed her. She'd played me for a FOOL! She was nothing but, an evil, lying, backstabbing, two faced bitch. I recently sent her an email. I asked her how does it feel to wreck a child's life and how does one just move on? I wonder how can that person face themselves in the mirror? Do they just shrug it off and move on to their next victim? Do they ever think back and second guess their actions/decisions? I didn't bother asking the last question. Not that I received or even expected any answer at all. One of the sickest ironies is that my soon to be ex, still believes that; "she had no choice, didn't want to hurt Ahmi or us, that she's a good person w/ a difficult job..." RETCH!!! He tells me, I should leave her in peace! Again, RETCH!! Until karma catches up to the bitch, it's not going to be possible! I did misplace my trust in her. However, she's the evil, black hearted bitch who lied to my face! Over and over! There is just no way I can let that go! He might maintain his naivety and blindness. Not me! My eyes were opened wide and fast on 1/25/12 when I heard the BS erupting from her lying mouth! Then her continued evilness. Denying Ahmi and I any kind of closure. Her true self was revealed in court and topped off w/ her final decision. I hate her freaking guts and am certain if I heard she'd died, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from dancing w/ glee! (Sorry God.) No, I'm sorry, the system SUCKS and is broken in so many ways. The people in charge at the agency are power hungry, control freaks! They are out of control and desperately need to be reeled in and put in check! I love you sweetest girl! I pray you giggled and laughed today! Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom
Jan 2, 2012
"HAPPY NEW YEAR"
Happiest New Year my sweetest little love! Ahmi sweet girl I hope your holiday and birthday were happy! You so greatly deserve only happiness! Every moment of every day you are in my heart and in my thoughts. Two days are approaching fast that I've anticipated with dread. The day you were taken from me. Then the day Genny Wrocklage lied and betrayed us in court before she gave you away to the substitutes. 2011 was the most difficult and challenging year I've ever faced. I must admit I was glad to see it come to an end. I've resolved to embrace all future holidays/milestones rather than to dread them. Because I've come to realize, that each one that passes, brings our possible reunion one step closer. Every night I pray that you giggled and laughed that wonderful laugh of yours that always embraced everyone around you. I also pray your pain has lessened. I don't want any burden carried upon your shoulders. You were an innocent victim of bad decisions made by 2 adults you trusted (who regrettably, let you down) and a broken corrupt system run by people who are so caught up in the fantasy of being gods they've lost all sense of their humanity. I don't know what you've been told, I need you to know there are two sides to every story and I hope to have the chance to tell you mine. I Love you now as much as I always have, as much as I always will! From this moment on, I will welcome each passing day with appreciation. I will remember for each special day we miss, we are one day closer to the reunion I dream of and look forward to. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom
Dec 24, 2011
"ONE DAY WE'LL BE REUNITED"
Each night before I close my eyes, I pray you laughed and giggled that day. I'll never forget the 1st time I saw you. 12lbs, a tiny little one. I would put you in the snuggly, and use my knit cape to keep you warm. A gorgeous, black, full head of hair. You had more hair at 3 1/2 mths than a lot of 2 year olds have even grown in 2 yrs. Big, beautiful, dark eyes. The eyes of an old soul! I was very curious of why the sweetest little china doll baby girl was watching me with eyes of an old, old soul. What life experiences could you possibly have been through during the brief moment in time since your birth? Do you remember your Barney? We got you your 1st one w/in 10 days of your arrival. The visiting Nurse who came once a month your 1st year suggested a lovey to comfort you during any moments of stress. When you 1st came, any time you were distressed, i.e.bath time, diaper change,... You would pull your hair so hard it would stand straight out from the sides of your head. I tried putting socks on your hands until I could ask the Nurse. Miss Donna thought you were doing it as a self comforting attempt. So Barney became an important part of your life during the next 2 1/2 yrs. I would rub the silky side up and down your arm, leg, belly,...You were attached and redirected rather quickly. You loved it being stroked gently all over your face, lips, tip of nose, especially when you were tired. You would grow and name it "silking". I think there were 3 Barneys altogether. We got an extra after almost losing Barney #1. Then we got you another when the fleece side wasn't so fluffy anymore. You always preferred the original! Lol! Between the ages 2-3, every morning you'd come in my bedroom w/ your b., blanket, and Barney. "Here's Ahmi and her 3 B's.." was our saying back then. There was a brief time when I'd have to sneak him in the washer although, you always agreed that he smelt better after a wash and dry. Lol! From the very first day of your arrival you stole my heart. Your sweet laughter filled our hearts and the house with joy. One day I pray we'll be reunited. I will once again wrap my arms around you and I hope you'll be at home. I pray you giggled and laughed today my sweetest Ahmi girl. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day!! XOXO Mom **Edited 12/24/2011
Dec 8, 2011
"DEAR SWEET GIRL"
Dear Sweetest Ahmi girl, I pray you giggled and laughed today. That your heart is somewhat lighter. Even though the substitutes and Genny Wrecklage wouldn't allow us the chance to say goodbye, I just know within my heart that we will be reunited and we'll be together at Christmas again one day. For now, I wish you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest 5th birthday! It seems like just yesterday you were 2 and claiming to be five so you could "be big like A.J and Sam". I think about you often. Do you still like Elephants? Tea parties? Flip flops? Do you still take your shoes off the 1st chance you get? Do you still silk? I miss your silks. I miss you my sweet baby love and think of you everytime I see the moon. I send a kiss and a hug to you each night before I go to bed. Be happy my sweetest girl as you so deserve to be. I love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! Till we see each other again, I hold you in my heart. XOXO Mom
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