"HOW DOES ONE JUST MOVE ON?"

The depression I've sunk into since the start of the year just seems to get deeper. Although my head knows that life must go on, my heart is shattered. It's been made so much worse by the fact, that we were denied the chance to say goodbye! There's no closure only a devastating sense of loss. Although I've begged many times, my pleas always fell on deaf ears. My role now reduced to a "former caretaker." Our deep, loving bond minimized. Apparently, the fact that my baby talked about me all the time was "a threat to what they were trying to build with her." Excuse me but, who's interests are we concerned with? The child's or the adults? If my role was so minimal, why does it matter how often she talks about me? On the other hand, why would she talk about me all the time if we didn't share a bond? Just one more example of a Social Worker speaking yet, nothing of substance coming out of her mouth. You're supposed to just accept what the worker says without argument. I'll be the first to admit, that just isn't me. My mouth combined with my emotions=trouble. Because if you display emotions, well, there must be something wrong with you. The whole system SUCKS! A broken system run by broken people if you ask me. I mean WTF? You love and nurture a child for 4 years. One day she's there, the next gone. Not even allowed to say goodbye. How the hell do you just turn and walk away? How do you not feel overwhelmed with devastating grief and anger? It's been 199 days and the pain is just as raw today as it was in Jan.

QUALIFICATIONS??

This SW is at least 10 years my junior, she's never had a child. Until you lie on that table and push a new life into the world, you have no clue what it means to love a child! The feeling of pure love that overtakes you, the purest love you'll ever know. Yes my son and I share DNA, he was my first and he taught me the meaning of love. He grew under my heart, my daughter grew in my heart. I love them both just the same. I wrote this quote some time ago; We give our youth and energy to our children, to theirs we give our patience and our wisdom. We lose some things as we age but, we also gain. Patience, wisdom, and knowledge from our life experiences. 3 things we only gain through the passage of time and living life. During my 20's, I thought I had all the answers. I turned 35, and realized I had no clue. Ten years later, I'm very much aware of what we lose and what we gain through the passing of time. I had my son while I was still young and foolish. I definitely appreciated and enjoyed the 2nd time around a little more thanks to these 3 gifts. IMHO These 20 something young kids with their rose colored glasses, and their dreams of saving the world, are so not qualified to make any extreme life changing decisions re: a child's life. Especially, when they can't be bothered to even visit monthly as required by law. When in fact, they hadn't been seen but, once at their office in a 6 month period! Tomorrow I'll be blogging about the overkill directed towards one Mom. Also, how a SW's incompetence/sloppy investigating, extended horrendous abuse for 2 innocent children by 3 years!!

WHAT QUALIFIES THESE INEXPERIENCED, YOUNG WOMEN?

My question is this, Why do we allow these 20 something young girls fresh out of college make such life altering decisions? With their rose colored glasses and their big dreams of saving the world. They have no clue what it means to love a child. They have no life experience, they certainly have none of the wisdom that comes through growing and the passage of time. They make their decisions and their judgements based on what? What exactly do they have to base any judgements on? This young inexperienced person was allowed to alter this child's life in a way that will effect her for the rest of her life. Because she had the power to do so. How much sense does that make?

"DISCRIMINATION!"

In March of 2011 she discriminated against me. I requested the same thing my spouse did, a visit with my baby. After she kept me waiting for 6 WEEKS, she tried to impose conditions on my visiting (that she never tried to impose on my spouse and he didn't have to wait), I was told "because of my anger towards her, No". As if my hatred towards her could ever be greater than the love for my daughter! Egotistical Bitch! DISCRIMINATION COMMITTED BY AN AGENT OF THE STATE! Trying to get justice for this has been a challenge. I will not quit however till there is some justice for myself as well as for my daughter! This social worker HAS NO children, barely knew my daughter(although, required by law to come by once a month, she NEVER was consistent) yet, was allowed to destroy her life! The previous worker came by every month, like clockwork. I never knew when Genny Wrocklage would come by. She seemed to try and fit the baby in every other month or so, if she had the time. Visiting my daughter never seemed to be a priority with her!