"GENNY WROCKLAGE"

My baby turned 9 today. Does she ever cross your mind? She crosses mine every day. I've reclaimed my life and now I wait. It's been nearly 5 years since you lied and left your damage behind. How do you sleep at night? Quite well I suspect. You're still an evil bitch! At least you're no longer wrecking children's lives! Maybe I was able to do some good after all.

"GOOD BYE FOR NOW"

When I started this blog in July 2011, I was broken. The monsters who are in charge of the so called "Child Protective Services" in particular, Genny Wrocklage, had destroyed my world. I take responsibility for choices I made. However, that gave the witch no license to lie to my face, stab me in the back, traumatize an innocent child and worst of all, not allow us to say goodbye. Instead the bitch made decisions that were adult based. That ignored and stepped on the loving bond my sweet Ahmi girl and I shared. Her only reasoning was it threatened the substitutes. She didn't give a crap about the pain she'd cause to Ahmi! Yet, she's supposedly for "the best interests of children." The whole agency has turned into a corrupted pile of DOG CRAP! I live for the day they will be put in check! Well, I've come a long way since that summer day a year and a half ago. I'm now divorced and will have all my ex's money (the one thing he truly cares about). This blog is forever tied to the witch who lied to my face. Thanks to family court, I've found a sense of healing and peace. I know my girl will look for me. The heart doesn't forget. God brought her and I together and he won't forsake us! I just have to be patient, build my new future, and wait! Thank God for the power of the Internet! Thank you to all my readers. Putting the story out there was a big step in my healing! I miss my girl every minute of every day. I'll love her forever and always plus one more day. I know she'll look for me and I'll be waiting with open arms! If you're going through your own hell with the as$holes, I pray you find your way through. Hold tight to your self esteem! Remember, you're so much better/more than what they say. They thrive on ripping people apart. They're trash! Hopefully there will be change one day soon! Keep fighting and speaking out! I will! Don't know if this will truly be the last post. Death and taxes are the only sure things in life. If anything comes up, I will post it. For now it's time to concentrate on building my new life. Love and Thanks to all. I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always, plus One more Day!xoxo Mom Lynn Connearney

"DEAR GENNY WRECKLAGE, I NEED YOU TO KNOW.."

I'm not consumed by an overwhelming hatred of you anymore. I do still hate your guts and think you're a two faced backstabbing, lying, witch. I would cross the street rather than ever help you out in an emergency. However, knowing that my blog is tied to you for the rest of time, that any of your so called "accomplishments" are connected with the real you, helps. Heck, the emails between you and Bill have brought over 1,000 views alone. Not that you freaking give a crap but, I ache every minute of every day for my girl. The tears don't fall as often but, my heart will only begin to heal the day that phone call comes. I know 100% it will come. Although you and the substitutes wouldn't allow us closure. The heart doesn't forget. My girl will search. Thank God for the miracle of the Internet. No matter where I may be, I'll always be just a phone call away! My  one regret is that it took me more than a year to read the emails I found on Bill's pc in July of 2011. When he asked me to move in with him 2/3/11, I thought his motivation was the $ he'd been court ordered to start paying me that very day. I now know he'd already hatched a plan to try and destroy me any way he could. I'm glad I ignored his pleas to cancel the divorce papers. I have no doubt he wanted to refile as the plaintiff. Wow! You were in bed with a diabolical, twisted, lying, abusive sack of crap. Yet, you've never seemed to get that. Yet, you're in charge of "...best interests of children..." How screwed up is that? You're college degree that Daddy paid for might look nice but, it's no better than toilet paper. You don't know crap about the human psyche nor about loving/being a parent. I hope and pray for the day when your agency is put in check and there is finally oversight to everything that is done in, "..the best interest of the child.." When there is no longer a $4,000 bounty on a child's life. When the corrupted curtain of secrecy is finally ripped away from the Juvenile court, "the best interest of the child" may finally be served! p.s. I won't bother signing this. You know very well who I am. A copy of this email will be posted to my blog by the end of today. Unlike yourself, I don't have anything to hide. lynmco-childpunishingservice.blogspot.com "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Theodor Geisel    LMC

"BILL THE BACKSTABBER"

*** ALL STARRED COMMENTS ARE MINE ***
From: Bill Connearney
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 9:28 PM
To: 'Wrocklage, Genny'
Subject: RE: Update
  Bummer, I just spent a lot of time writing my response
and the browser dumped. Let's try again.
  The eyes getting wet is not medical. When she would get her eyes wet in the shower she needs to have a towel to wipe them with. She preferred my shirt which I playfully complained about. A lot of wet shirts but it made her happy.  She loves to swim and I would tell her to gently wipe her eyes with her hands.
***Actually I always had her look up and rinsed her hair back. She didn't like water in her face and this took the drama/trauma out of hair washing. If he'd truly paid attention, he'd have known this!***
Food: I would suggest if they are not already doing so to eat at the table together. This creates a more family atmosphere and may encourage her to eat what is in front of her if she is included in if not the focus of a conversation.  She loves meatballs.  We would share spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread on our Saturdays together. She called it our special time.
  ***Once again answered by someone who didn't have a clue! Yes, she was picky. There were a few staples to her diet. Pasta was just one. She would eat oatmeal, any fruit but, Mango, yougurt, peanut butter toast,and a few others. She was usually willing to try something if I was eating it.***
Games: We called the belly game the DOH! game. When she ran into my belly I would say DOH! and fall backwards. This made her feel big and strong because she could knock me over. Funny story. The last time I got to take Ahmi to the park we were playing the DOH! game and the little girl we met at the park was busting up laughing at how much fun Ahmi was having. A 2 year old boy actually started doing the game to me. I let him. At the beach we would put a dog leash down and back up ten feet and race to pick it up. Somehow she always just beat me. Another was "Where's Diego" I would stand with Ahmi standing behind me facing my back holding my hands. and say Where's Diego? She would say look behind you. So we would spin 180 degrees and I would say "Where I don't see you?" This would go on again and again until I said "I guess I should just keep spinning around." So she was up in the air for a few spins and I would gently put her down. The she would crawl between my legs and say "Look between your legs". Then I would say" Oh! there you are! Hello MY Love. She would say Hi Daddy and then say Let's do it the whole time. Which is her version of repeatedly. She likes to play catch with her 10" princess ball and have tea parties. Puzzles with big pieces.
***Don't bother mentioning that she LOVES books, that she is used to 2 stories every night. That she prefers books that are geared towards 5-6 year olds. That she loves to do crafty things, practice writing, color, paint, play board games such as candy land, chutes and ladders, etc... That she loves walks around the block. That she was enrolled in gymnastics, had started swimming lessons the summer before. That she loves her small stuffed animal collection and would pretend they were real. That she's very attached to her blanket, uses the edge to "silk". That she's experienced night terrors from time to time since she was a baby and how to deal with them.***
Visits: I hear and understand  their concerns about me sharing their personal info with Lynn. I can only give you my word that I would not jeopardize any time I may be granted with Ahmi. I never knew how much love I could have until I got to know Ahmi. I love her more than anyone or anything. I don't know what to call the new parents in front of Ahmi. Are they referring to themselves as mom and dad? Assuming they are a heterosexual family.
  ***3 hours earlier he'd called me. Whining about the spousal support order I'd been awarded in court earlier that day. "I can't afford to pay you and maintain an apt., please move in with me, we'll work together to try and get her back..." Backstabbing piece of crap! His word means something! NOT!!***
Last I spoke with Lynn she said she would want Ahmi to still see me if she could not see her. She believes that Ahmi believes that we got rid of her and that we don't want her anymore and that if even one of us told her that we both still and always will love her that will have a greatly positive effect on her.
  ***I spoke the words above only in regard to myself. Egotistical pr&ck! Only in his imagination was he included! I NEVER said I'd still want him to see her! What I said was, I was haunted by the damage my sudden disappearance from her life would do to her emotionally. How I wished I'd been able to say goodbye and to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong. That I loved her always, forever, plus one more day. He even screwed that up in March 2011! He made a little video and couldn't even remember how I said it! Stupid sh&t! I don't mean to imply he didn't love her. He loved her as much as a narcissistic personality is capable of loving someone besides themselves. The sad fact is however, he never loved her enough to put her before himself. I had a bond with her that he never came close to! I respected their relationship, even though he didn't return that respect to her and I! Ex: Telling her I was evil. He had no self control over his mouth! No sense that it's not okay to say certain things to children.***
If only I could go back in time knowing what I know now I would have adopted Ahmi as soon as possible and you would have been done with us to go on to help other families. This has been and remains to be a deeply painful lesson. I miss her so much. But rest assured I will be nothing but positive and grateful toward Ahmi's new family.  
***Yes FREAKING DUMB ASS! How long did you drag your feet? As always, sorry comes, much too little, much too late! I begged you on my knees to love her more than you hated me! You turned your back on her! How is that love? I love her so much more than I hate the wrecker B&tch! I never said bad things to her about you! That's so much more than you could ever say! THE SAD TRUTH IS YOU NEVER LOVED HER MORE THAN YOURSELF! You never put her first! That's not love!***
As always please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you help Ahmi. Bill

*** She gave you a priceless, precious gift! Her complete love, trust, adoration! You threw it back in her face because you were not WORTHY!! YOU'LL NEVER RECEIVE SUCH A GIFT AGAIN! The sad thing is, you can't even understand or appreciate how sad that is. What a loss that truly is.***

"BACK STABBERS, WRECKER AND EX..."

***All comments between* are mine. Found this email yesterday while cleaning out mail folders. Note the date, this was 8 days after the witch wrecked my world, was exposed as the lying back stabber she is, I'd just been to court re: spousal support(I won). My ex called me that night. Whining he couldn't afford to pay me and maintain an apt. He asked me to move in that very night. Allegedly, we'd work together to get Ahmi back. As I discovered later, all BS! I will post his part of conversation in a few days.***
Sent: Thu 2/3/2011 5:50 PM
To: Bill Connearney
Subject: Update
Hi, Bill.  I hope that you are doing ok. 
I saw AC today and she is doing very well considering.  She is happy and smiling often.  The family says that she talks a lot about you, more than Lynn for whatever reason.  (Perhaps she is just avoiding that other loss right now.)  She did so with me today, as well.  Today she was informed the Court's decision for her to remain with this family and because she internalizes she did not have as large of a reaction as I would have expected.  I waited a week to tell her because I thought moving to a new home and getting this news all at once was too much.  The family is going to be encouraging her to talk and let out her feelings, as I suggested her to do. They have been very good about honoring you and Lynn's name in their home and helping to keep her memories alive.  She actually has taught them a game she used to play with you where she runs into your belly and you make a noise. They play it in the home with her.
  ***It never occured to you witch that was because she was hurting inside, mad at me? Also, one of your many BS statements was,"She's talking about you too much. It interfers with the bond they're trying to build with her." Which is it? Liar!?***
I spoke to AC about you having her things and that I'm going to get them for her so she can have her old things at her new home. She would like to see you so we should plan on meeting at a park or somewhere in a couple of weeks. We can keep in touch about a day and time that will work. 
As much as I think AC should see Lynn too I am concerned about Lynn handling it emotionally and how this may affect AC.  I have to weigh the two and make the decision that I think is going to make her as comfortable as possible in her new home because it is something that isn't going to change, it's the Court's order.  I am afraid that Lynn isn't in a place to support the placement and this could have negative consequences for AC.  When parents don't support a child's new home it can feel scary to the child to go back there, "If my Mommy doesn't like it then I can't either". I have shared this with Lynn. The family seems open to having a visit with you in the future too, but they are concerned with their private info being shared with Lynn by you. We would have to feel that you could keep certain information private no matter what.  Having said this though I feel deeply for Lynn even though she doesn't believe me. I can't imagine what she is going through. I feel very, very sad for her. I don't know how she will ever rebound.
I have a couple of questions. Do you know of some dinners/food that AC likes?  She apparently says she likes things and then the family will cook it and she doesn't like it.  Maybe just a matter of different styles of preparing the dish. They want to make her meals she enjoys. 
Also, she says she can't get her eyes wet because it makes them tear. They are hoping this is just the common 4yo doesn't like water in her face stuff and doesn't have anything to do with her eye procedures. They wondered if you knew about this. 
Thanks for your time, Genny Wrocklage, MSW Protective Services Worker

***Witch you didn't even give me a freaking chance! Talking behind my back with a scum bag piece of crap liar, who KNOWS SQUAT!!! I was her primary caregiver, spent 24/7 with her. Bill didn't even freaking want her the first 2 years! You stupid piece of human trash!!

"DEAR SWEET AHMI GIRL(LITTLE ONE)"

Genny Wrocklage refused to allow us any chance for closure. No goodbye, no closure. 500+ days. I'm starting to realize the pain is mine to carry until the day we meet again.
Wow 5 1/2 years old! Not so little anymore! Kindergarten will be starting soon. Are you excited? I remember when you were 2. You wanted to go to big kid school. Like "your kids" Sam and A.J. What do you know? The time is almost here. I'm sure you've grown and learned so much over the past year and a half! I often wonder; Do you still like elephants, tea parties, the beach, flip flops, chocolate? Is Jasmine still your favorite princess? Do you still silk? I miss your silks! I bet your hair is so long! Like I always said, I'm sure you skipped breakfast the day they were handing out the good hair gene. I'm sure you were first in line! Lol! Do you still play little tricks to hear others laughter? I miss your sweet impish grin every day! I pray everyday that your heart is light and the sound of your sweet laughter is heard often. The sound of your laughter and giggles makes the world a much better place! I hope that wonderful sound often brightens the world around you! You deserve so much laughter and joy! I hope and pray you are happy and well! Although we weren't able to say goodbye, I've never stopped loving or thinking about you! I'm so very sorry that I just disappeared from your life without saying goodbye. I need you to know, understand, and to believe that it wasn't your fault! You could never do or say anything that would cause me to go away or to ever stop loving you! Ever since you were a little baby I've said,"I'll Love You Forever and Always Plus One More Day!" That has always been true. Forever and always it will be true! You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest, bestest little girl ever! Just as we always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside! That makes you very special! Lots of people have outer beauty. However, many of them don't have the beautiful heart that you do! It was a joy and a privilege to be a part of your life! Someday when you're grown, I would love to sit and share so many awesome memories with you. I have your scrapbook, baby journals, and your dvd. I will keep them safe until the day I pass them on to you alone! Every night I look up at the moon. I pray you giggled and laughed that day. I always say, "I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always plus One More Day!" Until the day we are reunited, I hold you close within my heart! Sending you tons of hugs and kisses, and oceans full of love! Mom p.s. Chris and Terry are having a baby girl in Sept. Right after school starts. Her name will be Adriana Rose. I'm making a pink and white blanket for her. Also making a small scrapbook. Well, I'm decorating the pages. They'll add the pics. I LOVE YOU!

"DEAR SOCIAL WRECKER"

Dear Genny Wrocklage aka Wrecklage or Social Wrecker, How has the past 16 months been for you? I'm sure you haven't lost any sleep or been so depressed all you could do was cry for days at a time. You wouldn't know anything about that. After all, you're in the business of wrecking lives and moving on right? I'm sure you must have no conscience. Otherwise how could you face yourself in the mirror day after day. Knowing what you've done. That you're in bed with an evil agency that rips children away from parents who love them and deposits them with strangers and the hell with any emotional damage along the way. After all, you've done your job right? The federal government pays the bounty and you're on to the next victim. Who gives a crap about the trauma done? You must be one cold hearted, evil bitch to work for such a demonic system! You made it much worse with the lies you spoke so readily. I never saw it coming. You had me so fooled right till the end. Right up till the day in court when you stuck that knife in my back! Good for you bitch! You did a great snow job on me. "I know she's your daughter. I've got your back. I know you two belong together." Lying, evil bitch! I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. What a fool I was! You showed me! Then you have the balls to come up to me seeking praise for the bull crap lies you'd just testified to in court?! Tell me, do you ever give Ahmi a second thought? Are you that sure about what you've done? Screw the emotional abuse and damage. One more check for the system! I want you to know, with medication and the help of a great therepist, I'm emerging from the black hell you condemned me to last year. However, I also want you to know, I hate your freaking guts as much as ever and I always will. Because I gave my trust to you and you ground it into the dirt. You stabbed me in the back so completely! That's why I will always hate the air you breathe. I know karma will catch you sooner or later. You will so deserve it! BTW I've known your address for more than a year. If all the vomit that came from your mouth about me was true, I would have used that knowledge in an evil way. I'm surprised someone with your education is so street stupid! I'm sure I'm not the first one you've pissed off. If I were you I'd be a little more cautious with my personal life and info. Someone who doesn't possess the restraint I have, may just come knocking one of these days. See you in Hell Bitch!

"LIES V. TRUTH"

As far back as I can remember, my Mother seemed to prefer lying over the truth. My third and youngest brother was born a little bit less than 2 months before I turned 7. I very clearly remember when she told me it was a boy, I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was playing a cruel trick on me since she knew how much I wanted a sister. It wasn't until I saw his diaper being changed that I knew it was true. My first words upon seeing the truth,"Take him back and trade him in for a girl." Of course we kept him. I love him very much and those words were only my childish disappointment. My adult brain thinks back on that experience and I've often asked myself, why would my first reaction be of non belief re: my Mother's words? I was almost 7 yet already I'd learned my Mother couldn't be trusted. I won't go into the details but, yes, due to cruel things she'd done and lies I'd heard her speak, I'd already discovered my Mother was mean sometimes and didn't always tell the truth. Around the same time, my 2 younger brothers and I were upstairs in my parents bedroom jumping on the bed. My Dad who was in the Living room right below us, called for us to come down. He asked each of us in turn, "were you jumping on the bed?" I answered truthfully, "yes Dad." My brothers, I suppose trying to avoid getting into trouble, both said "no." They both had to stand in the corner. I didn't because, my Dad said, "Lynn told the truth." So many years later and that lesson is still a part of me! To this day, I respect someone who speaks the truth! Truth may sometimes hurt but, it's the right way to go. ALWAYS! I hate a liar. It's the worst thing someone can do to me. If Genny Wrocklege had had the decency and self respect to be truthful with me, I in turn would have respected that. Instead she lied, stabbed me in the back, walked all over the trust I'd placed in her. That's why forever and always, IMO, she's a waste of the air she breathes. To be in her position, as far as I'm concerned, wreckers are obligated to treat people with; truth, dignity, and respect. SHE FAILED! May she rot! I love you Ahmi girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day! I pray you giggled and laughed today and that your heart is light! xxoo Mom

"ONE AWFUL YEAR"

The 24th of this month will mark the first anniversary of the day my world was forever ripped apart. One horrendous, devastating, living nightmare, of a year since I held my darling Ahmi girl. Kissed her sweet face. Smelled her hair. Heard her voice. One year since I learned the hard way that the trust I'd placed in Genny Wrocklage was indeed misplaced. Looking back, I feel like the biggest, most gullible fool! Lots of people tried to warn me re: wreckers. "Don't trust them. They're not on your side. They'll turn on you w/out warning..." I always brushed off the negative comments. I always said, "No, no she's not like that. She has my back. She's on our side..." I believed it and her until that final day. I fell for everything she told me. Hook, line, and sinker! Even after the 2 days that she mentally and emotionally abused Ahmi and I. I told myself she really was as busy with work as she claimed. Even after she tried to place the blame on hus. and myself for the resulting meltdown my baby suffered! Until the day she stood up in a court of law and I heard the lies that came out of her mouth. It was only then that I finally realized the truth. I'd trusted and believed her. She'd played me for a FOOL! She was nothing but, an evil, lying, backstabbing, two faced bitch. I recently sent her an email. I asked her how does it feel to wreck a child's life and how does one just move on? I wonder how can that person face themselves in the mirror? Do they just shrug it off and move on to their next victim? Do they ever think back and second guess their actions/decisions? I didn't bother asking the last question. Not that I received or even expected any answer at all. One of the sickest ironies is that my soon to be ex, still believes that; "she had no choice, didn't want to hurt Ahmi or us, that she's a good person w/ a difficult job..." RETCH!!! He tells me, I should leave her in peace! Again, RETCH!! Until karma catches up to the bitch, it's not going to be possible! I did misplace my trust in her. However, she's the evil, black hearted bitch who lied to my face! Over and over! There is just no way I can let that go! He might maintain his naivety and blindness. Not me! My eyes were opened wide and fast on 1/25/12 when I heard the BS erupting from her lying mouth! Then her continued evilness. Denying Ahmi and I any kind of closure. Her true self was revealed in court and topped off w/ her final decision. I hate her freaking guts and am certain if I heard she'd died, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from dancing w/ glee! (Sorry God.) No, I'm sorry, the system SUCKS and is broken in so many ways. The people in charge at the agency are power hungry, control freaks! They are out of control and desperately need to be reeled in and put in check! I love you sweetest girl! I pray you giggled and laughed today! Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Happiest New Year my sweetest little love! Ahmi sweet girl I hope your holiday and birthday were happy! You so greatly deserve only happiness! Every moment of every day you are in my heart and in my thoughts. Two days are approaching fast that I've anticipated with dread. The day you were taken from me. Then the day Genny Wrocklage lied and betrayed us in court before she gave you away to the substitutes. 2011 was the most difficult and challenging year I've ever faced. I must admit I was glad to see it come to an end. I've resolved to embrace all future holidays/milestones rather than to dread them. Because I've come to realize, that each one that passes, brings our possible reunion one step closer. Every night I pray that you giggled and laughed that wonderful laugh of yours that always embraced everyone around you. I also pray your pain has lessened. I don't want any burden carried upon your shoulders. You were an innocent victim of bad decisions made by 2 adults you trusted (who regrettably, let you down) and a broken corrupt system run by people who are so caught up in the fantasy of being gods they've lost all sense of their humanity. I don't know what you've been told, I need you to know there are two sides to every story and I hope to have the chance to tell you mine. I Love you now as much as I always have, as much as I always will! From this moment on, I will welcome each passing day with appreciation. I will remember for each special day we miss, we are one day closer to the reunion I dream of and look forward to. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"DEAR SWEET GIRL"

Dear Sweetest Ahmi girl, I pray you giggled and laughed today. That your heart is somewhat lighter. Even though the substitutes and Genny Wrecklage wouldn't allow us the chance to say goodbye, I just know within my heart that we will be reunited and we'll be together at Christmas again one day. For now, I wish you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest 5th birthday! It seems like just yesterday you were 2 and claiming to be five so you could "be big like A.J and Sam". I think about you often. Do you still like Elephants? Tea parties? Flip flops? Do you still take your shoes off the 1st chance you get? Do you still silk? I miss your silks. I miss you my sweet baby love and think of you everytime I see the moon. I send a kiss and a hug to you each night before I go to bed. Be happy my sweetest girl as you so deserve to be. I love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! Till we see each other again, I hold you in my heart. XOXO Mom

"DEAR MISS WRECKLAGE"

Miss Wrecklage, just want to say Happy Holidays! May karma deliver for you in 2012! Aside from the lies and hurtful things that came  from your mouth, I can NEVER forget that you allowed Bully Bastard Bill (liar and spouse abuser) to see her that one last time. Yet, your evil, black hearted, backstabbing self refused her and I the humane, compassionate, chance for transition and closure! Because they were jealous she was talking about me all the time?? WTF?? They can't understand our bond? Garbage! Passing time till she contacts me. And, she will! Our hearts are bonded w/ love! Something you have no clue about. My blog (billboard) is waiting right there. I come up on all the major search engines! People all over the world UK, Germany, Ireland, Russia... read my blog! Since July 58 people have found my blog due to you. They may have been checking your name for something else. Regardless, they found me. 1,600 views in 4 months! I'm very pleased! Deny it all you like I saw the way she looked at you when you made that stupid comment at Polinsky's. Like you were insane or had two heads! You may consider Child Development. You mentally and emotionally abused her those 2 days! Only you! Try to blame Bill and I all you like. You alone own it! It doesn't matter if you're honest or not. We both know you're a liar! We (you and I) both heard what she said! I know I was wrong not to have him locked up in Sept 2009. I guess you don't know fear. I now know I should have kept my mouth shut! I let the anger re: the lie he told licensing get the better of me. I'd say I paid the worst price! Yet, you had to make it even worse by not allowing me the chance to say goodbye. You're the most evil, cold hearted b&tch I've ever met! Yes, I pray every night that the Karma you've earned catches you. I pray it's painful, drawn out, and rips your heart and soul apart! I pray you rot in the fires of hell! I know 100% she'll look for me. Thank God for the Internet! It's a small, small world!! Tick tick tick.....

"THE CRAP SHE SPEAKS PART 2"

When she was 15 months old, my daughters birth Mom skipped an important court date and vanished for 2 years. At that time parental rights were terminated. A month before my daughters 3rd birthday, I received a letter from her. Basically it said, she'd got her life straightened out and she was ready to be a Mom. Although I was concerned re: her assumption and or perception of reality. As a Mom myself, I could understand her wanting to see the baby, missing her, needing to know how she was doing, etc... Once Genny Wrocklage met with her and let her know where things stood. That rights had been terminated 2 yrs. previously, that we were moving ahead with Adoption, etc... I called her and set up a meeting for the 2 of us as a prerequisite before visiting with the baby. Basically, I just wanted to discuss a happy, low-key, visit that would put the baby's emotions as the top priority. Children grow a lot between 15 months and age 3! I didn't want adult emotions to overwhelm and frighten child ones! Anyways, that night I talked with my daughter about her "Mama S." How she'd come back from a long trip, wanted to visit with her, etc... My daughter's one concern? She asked if she had to go live with her. After I reassured her that no, her home was with us, it was just a visit. She replied, "okay I would like to visit then Mom." The next afternoon I phoned and arranged to meet her at a donut shop in her neighborhood. Now, aside from being 30 mins. late, if the boundaries we'd discussed the day before had been respected, I would have been okay with a visit every 6 months or so. As a Mom, I couldn't imagine life without my son. Although, I never was (fortunately) in her position. I understand the mother love. Unfortunately, she acted in ways that would potentially confuse my daughter and bring chaos into our lives. After discussing it with my husband, I let her know that we felt it was in the baby's best interest to let her grow and develop a little more before arranging any additional visits. I let her know that I'd set up an exclusive email for communication between us and that I would send pics. 2 or 3 times a year. At that point in time, having been completely ignored on the boundaries we'd discussed and agreed on, and having been disrespected several times to my daughter. i.e. She couldn't refer to me as "your Mom or Mom" while talking to the baby. I was "her and she". At one point, my daughter gave me a questioning look. When she took it upon herself to mention holiday plans to my daughter that we had not discussed, it was clear. My daughter deserved to continue growing up with a Mom and a Dad who loved her, in the safe, secure only world she'd known for 3 yrs. After a few years, when her foundation was a little more developed and she had more of an understanding, we'd reassess things. Now, I will tie this post together. As an answer to one of my many requests for a goodbye visit, Genny Wrocklage said,"A visit isn't possible at this time, they're bonding, yadayada. Remember how you felt re: S.? Well now you're S." Okay for one thing, I shared a deep, loving bond with my daughter that only comes with daily, consistent, loving time spent together. During our private meeting, one thing I stated to S., "I respect that you carried her and gave her life." "However, 2 years is a long time at her age. You need to accept and respect, she hasn't been sitting on a shelf waiting for your return. I've been a consistent, loving, part of her life as long as she can remember. You need to be okay that I'm Mom." Since we had a history, I guess I accepted her quick agreement a little quickly myself. Second point, I very much set up the visit understanding S.'s heart and desire as a Mom myself. However, I took time to insure that A.'s best interests were number one priority. Only someone who has no clue would attempt to compare the situations!! I always acted for the good of my dau. I never put my feelings into the equation! Isn't that a Mom? Yes! A true Mom doesn't put her jealousies, insecurities, ahead of what's best for the child! IMO Someone who's incapable of that, Is not and will NEVER be a true, fit, deserving parent! I pray that you giggled and laughed today! My sweet little one Forever and Always, Plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"TO THE BEST GIRL"

To my sweet darling girl, First I want to say how very, very sorry I am for the trauma you've been put through this year. I'm sorry I lost our home and that you had to go to that HORRIBLE place(Polinsky). I'm also extremely sorry that I told Genny Wrocklage something out of anger that I'd kept quiet about for 15 months. I never should have trusted her, should have kept it to myself and in fact, should have taken it to the grave. Opening up to her was a big part of why you weren't returned to me. That is something I regret to this day and always will. I pray every day that you aren't blaming yourself for ANYTHING! Although, at four, I fear that is in fact the case. Sweetheart if I'd been allowed to see you, I would have assured you that, Absolutely nothing that happened was your fault! Not for a minute have I stopped loving you! You could never do anything that would cause that to happen! I love and miss you so much. Always and Forever plus One more day. Do you remember how I always told you about me wishing for a little girl when I was a little girl? How you were my dream come true? That is as true today as it always was. I begged many times for the chance to see you and say goodbye. There were different excuses about why I couldn't. Once, it was "she's talking about you too much, you're a threat to what they're trying to build with her." Although I'm not sure who's interest they were thinking of, yours or theirs? Another time Genny Wrocklage said "It's obvious you're still very angry with me and I don't see that a visit would be beneficial at this time." As if my anger at her would ever be greater than my love for you. It wouldn't but, she never gave me that chance. Although she told me at one time she understood that I was your Mom. That she respected the love and bond we shared, she never respected it enough to do the decent, human thing and allow us to have the chance to say goodbye. Sweet girl I pray each day your heart is a little happier and that you don't carry any of this on your shoulders. You were/are the best little girl any parents could hope for. Life with you was a joy and a privilege. I think about you all the time and anxiously await the day we might be reunited. Until then, a piece of my heart and soul is missing. The day I see you again is when I will once again be complete. I love you beautiful girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day! I pray you smiled and laughed today my sweetest girl! XOXO Mom

"WHAT DEFINES MOM"

"The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."-Sydney J. Harris
"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." - Oprah Winfrey

"Mom" IMO the greatest title a Woman can have in her lifetime. Aside from growing, carrying, and giving birth to a child. I've been thinking a lot the past ten months about other ways women become "Mom". Genny Wrocklage tried to minimize the relationship I shared with my daughter. In court I was reduced to the "caretaker". For myself, the biggest issue I have re: Social Workers is, they're not parents. They have no concept of being a parent, loving a child. In turn, they can't relate, there's no empathy. They look at the world with a young, inexperienced narrow viewpoint. My son grew under my heart. After 22 excruciating hours, he entered the world. It was love at first sight! 25 years later, a tiny, beautiful little girl came into my life. With the eyes of an old soul, she just lay quietly and looked at me. I wondered what had this baby been through in her first 3 months, that she seemed to look at life through much older eyes? From that first day, she began to grow in my heart. As time passed, she grew and thrived. The bond between us grew stronger as the days turned to weeks, months, and then to years. Along the way there was, life filled with, laughter, joy, love, a tear or two, many milestones to meet, and 3 eye surgerys to conquer. I believe loving, comforting, nurturing, teaching, all that goes into caring for a baby (3 mths.-4 yrs.), are all the acts of a Mom. I love both of my children. They both will always own a piece of my heart. My son showed me the meaning of a pure, emotional, over whelming love. He taught me what it means to love a child. My daughter means the world to me. I miss her and I love her just as much today as I did in Jan. At first, so much of what Genny Wrocklage said to me or about me was devastating. It was months before I finally got mad enough to fight for my self respect and my self esteem. Thus a blog was born. Through writing I've come to realize; She's not a parent. Therefore, she's incapable of relating as one. I will no longer allow her pointless judgements, lies, or statements haunt or define me. I also realize that my little girl will look for me one day soon. I'll have a lot to share with her on that day. I just need be patient and wait. Once we are reunited, we will never be separated again. No matter what the robots at CPS are able to do in the moment, no one will erase the loving bond that connects our hearts. I love you Ahmi! With every beat of my heart. I miss you and I yearn for the day I will see your beautiful face once again. Forever and Always plus One more day! I hope you smiled and laughed today! XOXO Mom

"DAYTIME NIGHTMARE"

224 Awful days! This daily constant nightmare SUCKS! It seems my brain is constantly wondering (imagining) how my daughter is coping. Is she blaming herself? Does she imagine that I stopped loving her? Does she think that she did something wrong? Having personnal knowledge of the useless garbage that has come from Genny Wrocklage only adds to the torture. I have no faith at all re: the way she interacted with Ahmi. She liked to pretend she knew her. You don't get to know a child by visiting them 30-45 mins. every few months. Especially when you don't have children. Until someone is a parent, they have no clue! I firmly believe that and will until my time on Earth is done. I just can't seem to stop looking and listening. On the freeway, in the stores, whenever I'm out. I catch myself always taking a second look. I think that soon I will take leave of this place for a bit. I do know that as soon as she is old enough to figure out FB or even just searching the Internet, she will have no trouble finding me. That is the day I am looking forward to. Because on that day, others will walk in my shoes and maybe will learn something about compassion and loss. Until that day finally comes, I truly hope and pray that she is letting someone know how she's doing. Unfortunately, she does tend to keep things to herself. I hope the people she's with have figured that much out by now. Of course if they're as delusional as the SW has been,... My poor darling.
Dear Ahmi, the consistent message I've heard is "She's doing great! Over her grief, etc..." Since that comes from the mouth of a liar, it's very little comfort to me. Sweetheart I hope and pray that each day brings a little more happiness and a lot less pain in your heart. I love you sweetest girl! Always and Forever plus One more Day! I never stopped, I never could! I'm waiting for your contact. Day or night 24/7. I'm here waiting sweetie. We have so much to talk about. I love you!

"COINCIDENCE?"

Genny Wrocklage or Genny Wrecklage??

"THE CRAP SHE SPEAKS"

It was horrible enough when Genny Wrocklage gave my beloved little girl to strangers. Yet, somehow, every time she opened her mouth she managed to make it even worse! Such as her comment "She's young enough to forget about you, and go on to have a happy life." Yes, I suppose one could make that stretch and work life out the way they wished it to be. Goodness knows four year olds and babies could be comparable if we talk enough! What's four years of bonding, loving, building memories? Couldn't possibly be important enough to matter to a child who's only four! "She's a very bright child, with a lot of promise. I want to see her placed with a loving family who will help her to become all she can be." Excuse me, seeing as how we've known for quite some time just how bright she is. We also witnessed her growing into the awesome little girl she is. We saw that daily in many ways. How the hell did she come so far? She certainly didn't sit by herself in a corner and magically grow that way! No Miss Social Wrecker, that's what happens when a child has love, attention, time spent playing, reading, laughing, activities, etc...The witch tried to credit nature and DNA. She'd much rather minimize nurture and environment. Bull crap! Well considering that little girl was being starved when she first came to us, gee, I wonder how much better off her brain was back then? Also, if nature is prevalent, does that mean she's doomed to a future of prostitution and drugs? Of course not! Just one more example of a Social Wreckers mouth moving and nothing important or anything of substance being spoken! It seemed she'd say anything to minimize, and/or ignore the relationship that we shared. Proof in point, she was so negative in court re: me. She totally blew off the excellent evaluation my angel had recently undergone. Never mentioned any of the outstanding things the psychologist had said re: that eval. How impressed she was with my daughter. She never mentioned how my daughter stated that she loved me and wanted to be with me. After getting totally creamed by 2 veteran attorneys. I was devastated and standing in the hallway outside the courtroom. The Bitch had the nerve to come up to me and say, "you have to admit I was fair." I couldn't believe the gall! She's lucky we were in a courthouse! I mean she along with her two experienced attorneys,(both of whom strongly objected to the court appointing me a Lawyer.) had just torn me apart in the travesty they called a trial. She'd basically revealed her evil, lying true self to me. I understood finally that she'd stabbed me in the back. That she'd never been on my side. I'd done everything she said, including, filing for Divorce. It had got me nowhere! I still hadn't really absorbed all the lies she testified to in the courtroom. And, she's looking for compliments on how she screwed me but,"You have to admit that I was fair." Got to hand it to her, I could never be so incredibly cold hearted, evil, cluless, ballsy, ignorant...

"LIES SHE TOLD

Genny Wrocklage testified in court to the following lies; #1 "We were happy when Mr. C. moved out because we felt the marriage was a hinderance to the Adoption. We felt the adoption could now move forward." Within minutes she said "We have concerns about the child's safety if this court orders her placed back with Mrs. C." Well, which is it? BTW from Aug. 2010 until 1/5/2011 Miss Wrocklage saw my child one time, when per her request, I brought the baby to her office. Exactly how concerned was she? #2 "Red flags came up in Mrs. C. psychological testing." Really? That testing took place the summer of 2009. I was very persistent re: the results. I reasoned I had every right to know. I asked repeatedly about them. The agency said it was the Drs. responsibility to review them w/ me. The Dr. said the opposite. Back and forth it went. I did finally wonder what was up and asked my Adoptions worker if in fact, there was something wrong. He said,"Lynn if there had been anything wrong the baby would have been removed. There's just some confusion about who's responsibility it is to go over them with you." Finally a counselor I saw for a few months told me it was all about money. He took an extra hour one week to go over it with me because, as he said, "It was ridiculous that I'd been getting the run around for 2 months and I did deserve to hear the results. That day when I finally heard them, there was Nothing that alarmed me! The biggest thought I had was "hmm interesting that she picked up on that." That, happened to be, a quirk of my personality. Nothing that was alarming, dangerous, etc... So, the question is if there were so called, "red flags" how was it they never said anything about it for 16 months?? #3 "I know that you and she share a deep bond, that you are in fact her Mom. I respect that." Really, respect it so much that you mentally and emotionally traumatized her by keeping me away from her for 2 days when I filed court papers? And worst of all refused us the chance of closure? Refused us the chance to say goodbye to each other? I submit Ladies and Gentleman, Genny Wrocklage committed perjury in a court of law. I later pointed out these 3 facts(among others)to her and she never responded. Of course not, what can a liar say?

"I COULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE"

All my life, I wished for you, ever since I was a little girl. I was blessed with a son. I was much too young and immature yet, he was loved wholeheartedly. Many years passed and I'd almost accepted that I'd never have a daughter to love. Then you came into my life. A serious, beautiful tiny girl. With your eyes of an old soul, you stole my heart away. I nurtured you, sang to you, played with you, nursed you through illness. Most of all, I simply Loved you. I watched you grow and thrive. Although you didn't grow under my heart, you grew in my HEART. I loved you deeply and completely! One day an Evil Bitch, Genny Wrocklage took you away and gave you to strangers. Although she took a piece of my heart and soul, she can NEVER take our love and our bond! I'm waiting for the day my sweet girl when we WILL be reunited! I will tell you all about the magical, wonderful, brief 4 years I got to love you. I will tell you about the people who wouldn't allow us the human decency of the chance to say Goodbye! I'm waiting sweetheart! Waiting for your contact! I love you sweetest girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day!