"ONE DAY WE'LL BE REUNITED"

Each night before I close my eyes, I pray you laughed and giggled that day. I'll never forget the 1st time I saw you. 12lbs, a tiny little one. I would put you in the snuggly, and use my knit cape to keep you warm. A gorgeous, black, full head of hair. You had more hair at 3 1/2 mths than a lot of 2 year olds have even grown in 2 yrs. Big, beautiful, dark eyes. The eyes of an old soul! I was very curious of why the sweetest little china doll baby girl was watching me with eyes of an old, old soul. What life experiences could you possibly have been through during the brief moment in time since your birth? Do you remember your Barney? We got you your 1st one w/in 10 days of your arrival. The visiting Nurse who came once a month your 1st year suggested a lovey to comfort you during any moments of stress. When you 1st came, any time you were distressed, i.e.bath time, diaper change,... You would pull your hair so hard it would stand straight out from the sides of your head. I tried putting socks on your hands until I could ask the Nurse. Miss Donna thought you were doing it as a self comforting attempt. So Barney became an important part of your life during the next 2 1/2 yrs. I would rub the silky side up and down your arm, leg, belly,...You were attached and redirected rather quickly. You loved it being stroked gently all over your face, lips, tip of nose, especially when you were tired. You would grow and name it "silking". I think there were 3 Barneys altogether. We got an extra after almost losing Barney #1. Then we got you another when the fleece side wasn't so fluffy anymore. You always preferred the original! Lol! Between the ages 2-3, every morning you'd come in my bedroom w/ your b., blanket, and Barney. "Here's Ahmi and her 3 B's.." was our saying back then. There was a brief time when I'd have to sneak him in the washer although, you always agreed that he smelt better after a wash and dry. Lol! From the very first day of your arrival you stole my heart. Your sweet laughter filled our hearts and the house with joy. One day I pray we'll be reunited. I will once again wrap my arms around you and I hope you'll be at home. I pray you giggled and laughed today my sweetest Ahmi girl. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day!! XOXO Mom **Edited 12/24/2011

"DEAR SWEET GIRL"

Dear Sweetest Ahmi girl, I pray you giggled and laughed today. That your heart is somewhat lighter. Even though the substitutes and Genny Wrecklage wouldn't allow us the chance to say goodbye, I just know within my heart that we will be reunited and we'll be together at Christmas again one day. For now, I wish you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest 5th birthday! It seems like just yesterday you were 2 and claiming to be five so you could "be big like A.J and Sam". I think about you often. Do you still like Elephants? Tea parties? Flip flops? Do you still take your shoes off the 1st chance you get? Do you still silk? I miss your silks. I miss you my sweet baby love and think of you everytime I see the moon. I send a kiss and a hug to you each night before I go to bed. Be happy my sweetest girl as you so deserve to be. I love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! Till we see each other again, I hold you in my heart. XOXO Mom

"DEAR MISS WRECKLAGE"

Miss Wrecklage, just want to say Happy Holidays! May karma deliver for you in 2012! Aside from the lies and hurtful things that came  from your mouth, I can NEVER forget that you allowed Bully Bastard Bill (liar and spouse abuser) to see her that one last time. Yet, your evil, black hearted, backstabbing self refused her and I the humane, compassionate, chance for transition and closure! Because they were jealous she was talking about me all the time?? WTF?? They can't understand our bond? Garbage! Passing time till she contacts me. And, she will! Our hearts are bonded w/ love! Something you have no clue about. My blog (billboard) is waiting right there. I come up on all the major search engines! People all over the world UK, Germany, Ireland, Russia... read my blog! Since July 58 people have found my blog due to you. They may have been checking your name for something else. Regardless, they found me. 1,600 views in 4 months! I'm very pleased! Deny it all you like I saw the way she looked at you when you made that stupid comment at Polinsky's. Like you were insane or had two heads! You may consider Child Development. You mentally and emotionally abused her those 2 days! Only you! Try to blame Bill and I all you like. You alone own it! It doesn't matter if you're honest or not. We both know you're a liar! We (you and I) both heard what she said! I know I was wrong not to have him locked up in Sept 2009. I guess you don't know fear. I now know I should have kept my mouth shut! I let the anger re: the lie he told licensing get the better of me. I'd say I paid the worst price! Yet, you had to make it even worse by not allowing me the chance to say goodbye. You're the most evil, cold hearted b&tch I've ever met! Yes, I pray every night that the Karma you've earned catches you. I pray it's painful, drawn out, and rips your heart and soul apart! I pray you rot in the fires of hell! I know 100% she'll look for me. Thank God for the Internet! It's a small, small world!! Tick tick tick.....