"GOOD BYE FOR NOW"

When I started this blog in July 2011, I was broken. The monsters who are in charge of the so called "Child Protective Services" in particular, Genny Wrocklage, had destroyed my world. I take responsibility for choices I made. However, that gave the witch no license to lie to my face, stab me in the back, traumatize an innocent child and worst of all, not allow us to say goodbye. Instead the bitch made decisions that were adult based. That ignored and stepped on the loving bond my sweet Ahmi girl and I shared. Her only reasoning was it threatened the substitutes. She didn't give a crap about the pain she'd cause to Ahmi! Yet, she's supposedly for "the best interests of children." The whole agency has turned into a corrupted pile of DOG CRAP! I live for the day they will be put in check! Well, I've come a long way since that summer day a year and a half ago. I'm now divorced and will have all my ex's money (the one thing he truly cares about). This blog is forever tied to the witch who lied to my face. Thanks to family court, I've found a sense of healing and peace. I know my girl will look for me. The heart doesn't forget. God brought her and I together and he won't forsake us! I just have to be patient, build my new future, and wait! Thank God for the power of the Internet! Thank you to all my readers. Putting the story out there was a big step in my healing! I miss my girl every minute of every day. I'll love her forever and always plus one more day. I know she'll look for me and I'll be waiting with open arms! If you're going through your own hell with the as$holes, I pray you find your way through. Hold tight to your self esteem! Remember, you're so much better/more than what they say. They thrive on ripping people apart. They're trash! Hopefully there will be change one day soon! Keep fighting and speaking out! I will! Don't know if this will truly be the last post. Death and taxes are the only sure things in life. If anything comes up, I will post it. For now it's time to concentrate on building my new life. Love and Thanks to all. I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always, plus One more Day!xoxo Mom Lynn Connearney

"BACK STABBERS, WRECKER AND EX..."

***All comments between* are mine. Found this email yesterday while cleaning out mail folders. Note the date, this was 8 days after the witch wrecked my world, was exposed as the lying back stabber she is, I'd just been to court re: spousal support(I won). My ex called me that night. Whining he couldn't afford to pay me and maintain an apt. He asked me to move in that very night. Allegedly, we'd work together to get Ahmi back. As I discovered later, all BS! I will post his part of conversation in a few days.***
Sent: Thu 2/3/2011 5:50 PM
To: Bill Connearney
Subject: Update
Hi, Bill.  I hope that you are doing ok. 
I saw AC today and she is doing very well considering.  She is happy and smiling often.  The family says that she talks a lot about you, more than Lynn for whatever reason.  (Perhaps she is just avoiding that other loss right now.)  She did so with me today, as well.  Today she was informed the Court's decision for her to remain with this family and because she internalizes she did not have as large of a reaction as I would have expected.  I waited a week to tell her because I thought moving to a new home and getting this news all at once was too much.  The family is going to be encouraging her to talk and let out her feelings, as I suggested her to do. They have been very good about honoring you and Lynn's name in their home and helping to keep her memories alive.  She actually has taught them a game she used to play with you where she runs into your belly and you make a noise. They play it in the home with her.
  ***It never occured to you witch that was because she was hurting inside, mad at me? Also, one of your many BS statements was,"She's talking about you too much. It interfers with the bond they're trying to build with her." Which is it? Liar!?***
I spoke to AC about you having her things and that I'm going to get them for her so she can have her old things at her new home. She would like to see you so we should plan on meeting at a park or somewhere in a couple of weeks. We can keep in touch about a day and time that will work. 
As much as I think AC should see Lynn too I am concerned about Lynn handling it emotionally and how this may affect AC.  I have to weigh the two and make the decision that I think is going to make her as comfortable as possible in her new home because it is something that isn't going to change, it's the Court's order.  I am afraid that Lynn isn't in a place to support the placement and this could have negative consequences for AC.  When parents don't support a child's new home it can feel scary to the child to go back there, "If my Mommy doesn't like it then I can't either". I have shared this with Lynn. The family seems open to having a visit with you in the future too, but they are concerned with their private info being shared with Lynn by you. We would have to feel that you could keep certain information private no matter what.  Having said this though I feel deeply for Lynn even though she doesn't believe me. I can't imagine what she is going through. I feel very, very sad for her. I don't know how she will ever rebound.
I have a couple of questions. Do you know of some dinners/food that AC likes?  She apparently says she likes things and then the family will cook it and she doesn't like it.  Maybe just a matter of different styles of preparing the dish. They want to make her meals she enjoys. 
Also, she says she can't get her eyes wet because it makes them tear. They are hoping this is just the common 4yo doesn't like water in her face stuff and doesn't have anything to do with her eye procedures. They wondered if you knew about this. 
Thanks for your time, Genny Wrocklage, MSW Protective Services Worker

***Witch you didn't even give me a freaking chance! Talking behind my back with a scum bag piece of crap liar, who KNOWS SQUAT!!! I was her primary caregiver, spent 24/7 with her. Bill didn't even freaking want her the first 2 years! You stupid piece of human trash!!

"DEAR SWEET AHMI GIRL(LITTLE ONE)"

Genny Wrocklage refused to allow us any chance for closure. No goodbye, no closure. 500+ days. I'm starting to realize the pain is mine to carry until the day we meet again.
Wow 5 1/2 years old! Not so little anymore! Kindergarten will be starting soon. Are you excited? I remember when you were 2. You wanted to go to big kid school. Like "your kids" Sam and A.J. What do you know? The time is almost here. I'm sure you've grown and learned so much over the past year and a half! I often wonder; Do you still like elephants, tea parties, the beach, flip flops, chocolate? Is Jasmine still your favorite princess? Do you still silk? I miss your silks! I bet your hair is so long! Like I always said, I'm sure you skipped breakfast the day they were handing out the good hair gene. I'm sure you were first in line! Lol! Do you still play little tricks to hear others laughter? I miss your sweet impish grin every day! I pray everyday that your heart is light and the sound of your sweet laughter is heard often. The sound of your laughter and giggles makes the world a much better place! I hope that wonderful sound often brightens the world around you! You deserve so much laughter and joy! I hope and pray you are happy and well! Although we weren't able to say goodbye, I've never stopped loving or thinking about you! I'm so very sorry that I just disappeared from your life without saying goodbye. I need you to know, understand, and to believe that it wasn't your fault! You could never do or say anything that would cause me to go away or to ever stop loving you! Ever since you were a little baby I've said,"I'll Love You Forever and Always Plus One More Day!" That has always been true. Forever and always it will be true! You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest, bestest little girl ever! Just as we always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside! That makes you very special! Lots of people have outer beauty. However, many of them don't have the beautiful heart that you do! It was a joy and a privilege to be a part of your life! Someday when you're grown, I would love to sit and share so many awesome memories with you. I have your scrapbook, baby journals, and your dvd. I will keep them safe until the day I pass them on to you alone! Every night I look up at the moon. I pray you giggled and laughed that day. I always say, "I love you sweetest Ahmi girl. Forever and Always plus One More Day!" Until the day we are reunited, I hold you close within my heart! Sending you tons of hugs and kisses, and oceans full of love! Mom p.s. Chris and Terry are having a baby girl in Sept. Right after school starts. Her name will be Adriana Rose. I'm making a pink and white blanket for her. Also making a small scrapbook. Well, I'm decorating the pages. They'll add the pics. I LOVE YOU!

"DEAR SOCIAL WRECKER"

Dear Genny Wrocklage aka Wrecklage or Social Wrecker, How has the past 16 months been for you? I'm sure you haven't lost any sleep or been so depressed all you could do was cry for days at a time. You wouldn't know anything about that. After all, you're in the business of wrecking lives and moving on right? I'm sure you must have no conscience. Otherwise how could you face yourself in the mirror day after day. Knowing what you've done. That you're in bed with an evil agency that rips children away from parents who love them and deposits them with strangers and the hell with any emotional damage along the way. After all, you've done your job right? The federal government pays the bounty and you're on to the next victim. Who gives a crap about the trauma done? You must be one cold hearted, evil bitch to work for such a demonic system! You made it much worse with the lies you spoke so readily. I never saw it coming. You had me so fooled right till the end. Right up till the day in court when you stuck that knife in my back! Good for you bitch! You did a great snow job on me. "I know she's your daughter. I've got your back. I know you two belong together." Lying, evil bitch! I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. What a fool I was! You showed me! Then you have the balls to come up to me seeking praise for the bull crap lies you'd just testified to in court?! Tell me, do you ever give Ahmi a second thought? Are you that sure about what you've done? Screw the emotional abuse and damage. One more check for the system! I want you to know, with medication and the help of a great therepist, I'm emerging from the black hell you condemned me to last year. However, I also want you to know, I hate your freaking guts as much as ever and I always will. Because I gave my trust to you and you ground it into the dirt. You stabbed me in the back so completely! That's why I will always hate the air you breathe. I know karma will catch you sooner or later. You will so deserve it! BTW I've known your address for more than a year. If all the vomit that came from your mouth about me was true, I would have used that knowledge in an evil way. I'm surprised someone with your education is so street stupid! I'm sure I'm not the first one you've pissed off. If I were you I'd be a little more cautious with my personal life and info. Someone who doesn't possess the restraint I have, may just come knocking one of these days. See you in Hell Bitch!

"EASTER TIME AGAIN"

Hello my sweetest Ahmi girl. Happy Easter and Happiest Spring! The 2nd Easter has passed since I saw your beautiful face. Although, the holiday is changed for now and I missed you as much as always. I'm trying to remain true to my resolution. One less Easter (hopefully) till we are together once more. Until then, I wish you all the happiness you so deserve, the laughter and the giggles that are your gift to the world around you, and the lightest of hearts unscarred from pain. I pray you giggled and laughed today Sweetest of all girls. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! xoxo Mom

"LIES V. TRUTH"

As far back as I can remember, my Mother seemed to prefer lying over the truth. My third and youngest brother was born a little bit less than 2 months before I turned 7. I very clearly remember when she told me it was a boy, I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was playing a cruel trick on me since she knew how much I wanted a sister. It wasn't until I saw his diaper being changed that I knew it was true. My first words upon seeing the truth,"Take him back and trade him in for a girl." Of course we kept him. I love him very much and those words were only my childish disappointment. My adult brain thinks back on that experience and I've often asked myself, why would my first reaction be of non belief re: my Mother's words? I was almost 7 yet already I'd learned my Mother couldn't be trusted. I won't go into the details but, yes, due to cruel things she'd done and lies I'd heard her speak, I'd already discovered my Mother was mean sometimes and didn't always tell the truth. Around the same time, my 2 younger brothers and I were upstairs in my parents bedroom jumping on the bed. My Dad who was in the Living room right below us, called for us to come down. He asked each of us in turn, "were you jumping on the bed?" I answered truthfully, "yes Dad." My brothers, I suppose trying to avoid getting into trouble, both said "no." They both had to stand in the corner. I didn't because, my Dad said, "Lynn told the truth." So many years later and that lesson is still a part of me! To this day, I respect someone who speaks the truth! Truth may sometimes hurt but, it's the right way to go. ALWAYS! I hate a liar. It's the worst thing someone can do to me. If Genny Wrocklege had had the decency and self respect to be truthful with me, I in turn would have respected that. Instead she lied, stabbed me in the back, walked all over the trust I'd placed in her. That's why forever and always, IMO, she's a waste of the air she breathes. To be in her position, as far as I'm concerned, wreckers are obligated to treat people with; truth, dignity, and respect. SHE FAILED! May she rot! I love you Ahmi girl! Forever and Always, plus One more day! I pray you giggled and laughed today and that your heart is light! xxoo Mom

"ONE AWFUL YEAR"

The 24th of this month will mark the first anniversary of the day my world was forever ripped apart. One horrendous, devastating, living nightmare, of a year since I held my darling Ahmi girl. Kissed her sweet face. Smelled her hair. Heard her voice. One year since I learned the hard way that the trust I'd placed in Genny Wrocklage was indeed misplaced. Looking back, I feel like the biggest, most gullible fool! Lots of people tried to warn me re: wreckers. "Don't trust them. They're not on your side. They'll turn on you w/out warning..." I always brushed off the negative comments. I always said, "No, no she's not like that. She has my back. She's on our side..." I believed it and her until that final day. I fell for everything she told me. Hook, line, and sinker! Even after the 2 days that she mentally and emotionally abused Ahmi and I. I told myself she really was as busy with work as she claimed. Even after she tried to place the blame on hus. and myself for the resulting meltdown my baby suffered! Until the day she stood up in a court of law and I heard the lies that came out of her mouth. It was only then that I finally realized the truth. I'd trusted and believed her. She'd played me for a FOOL! She was nothing but, an evil, lying, backstabbing, two faced bitch. I recently sent her an email. I asked her how does it feel to wreck a child's life and how does one just move on? I wonder how can that person face themselves in the mirror? Do they just shrug it off and move on to their next victim? Do they ever think back and second guess their actions/decisions? I didn't bother asking the last question. Not that I received or even expected any answer at all. One of the sickest ironies is that my soon to be ex, still believes that; "she had no choice, didn't want to hurt Ahmi or us, that she's a good person w/ a difficult job..." RETCH!!! He tells me, I should leave her in peace! Again, RETCH!! Until karma catches up to the bitch, it's not going to be possible! I did misplace my trust in her. However, she's the evil, black hearted bitch who lied to my face! Over and over! There is just no way I can let that go! He might maintain his naivety and blindness. Not me! My eyes were opened wide and fast on 1/25/12 when I heard the BS erupting from her lying mouth! Then her continued evilness. Denying Ahmi and I any kind of closure. Her true self was revealed in court and topped off w/ her final decision. I hate her freaking guts and am certain if I heard she'd died, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from dancing w/ glee! (Sorry God.) No, I'm sorry, the system SUCKS and is broken in so many ways. The people in charge at the agency are power hungry, control freaks! They are out of control and desperately need to be reeled in and put in check! I love you sweetest girl! I pray you giggled and laughed today! Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Happiest New Year my sweetest little love! Ahmi sweet girl I hope your holiday and birthday were happy! You so greatly deserve only happiness! Every moment of every day you are in my heart and in my thoughts. Two days are approaching fast that I've anticipated with dread. The day you were taken from me. Then the day Genny Wrocklage lied and betrayed us in court before she gave you away to the substitutes. 2011 was the most difficult and challenging year I've ever faced. I must admit I was glad to see it come to an end. I've resolved to embrace all future holidays/milestones rather than to dread them. Because I've come to realize, that each one that passes, brings our possible reunion one step closer. Every night I pray that you giggled and laughed that wonderful laugh of yours that always embraced everyone around you. I also pray your pain has lessened. I don't want any burden carried upon your shoulders. You were an innocent victim of bad decisions made by 2 adults you trusted (who regrettably, let you down) and a broken corrupt system run by people who are so caught up in the fantasy of being gods they've lost all sense of their humanity. I don't know what you've been told, I need you to know there are two sides to every story and I hope to have the chance to tell you mine. I Love you now as much as I always have, as much as I always will! From this moment on, I will welcome each passing day with appreciation. I will remember for each special day we miss, we are one day closer to the reunion I dream of and look forward to. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom

"ONE DAY WE'LL BE REUNITED"

Each night before I close my eyes, I pray you laughed and giggled that day. I'll never forget the 1st time I saw you. 12lbs, a tiny little one. I would put you in the snuggly, and use my knit cape to keep you warm. A gorgeous, black, full head of hair. You had more hair at 3 1/2 mths than a lot of 2 year olds have even grown in 2 yrs. Big, beautiful, dark eyes. The eyes of an old soul! I was very curious of why the sweetest little china doll baby girl was watching me with eyes of an old, old soul. What life experiences could you possibly have been through during the brief moment in time since your birth? Do you remember your Barney? We got you your 1st one w/in 10 days of your arrival. The visiting Nurse who came once a month your 1st year suggested a lovey to comfort you during any moments of stress. When you 1st came, any time you were distressed, i.e.bath time, diaper change,... You would pull your hair so hard it would stand straight out from the sides of your head. I tried putting socks on your hands until I could ask the Nurse. Miss Donna thought you were doing it as a self comforting attempt. So Barney became an important part of your life during the next 2 1/2 yrs. I would rub the silky side up and down your arm, leg, belly,...You were attached and redirected rather quickly. You loved it being stroked gently all over your face, lips, tip of nose, especially when you were tired. You would grow and name it "silking". I think there were 3 Barneys altogether. We got an extra after almost losing Barney #1. Then we got you another when the fleece side wasn't so fluffy anymore. You always preferred the original! Lol! Between the ages 2-3, every morning you'd come in my bedroom w/ your b., blanket, and Barney. "Here's Ahmi and her 3 B's.." was our saying back then. There was a brief time when I'd have to sneak him in the washer although, you always agreed that he smelt better after a wash and dry. Lol! From the very first day of your arrival you stole my heart. Your sweet laughter filled our hearts and the house with joy. One day I pray we'll be reunited. I will once again wrap my arms around you and I hope you'll be at home. I pray you giggled and laughed today my sweetest Ahmi girl. I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day!! XOXO Mom **Edited 12/24/2011

"DEAR SWEET GIRL"

Dear Sweetest Ahmi girl, I pray you giggled and laughed today. That your heart is somewhat lighter. Even though the substitutes and Genny Wrecklage wouldn't allow us the chance to say goodbye, I just know within my heart that we will be reunited and we'll be together at Christmas again one day. For now, I wish you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest 5th birthday! It seems like just yesterday you were 2 and claiming to be five so you could "be big like A.J and Sam". I think about you often. Do you still like Elephants? Tea parties? Flip flops? Do you still take your shoes off the 1st chance you get? Do you still silk? I miss your silks. I miss you my sweet baby love and think of you everytime I see the moon. I send a kiss and a hug to you each night before I go to bed. Be happy my sweetest girl as you so deserve to be. I love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! Till we see each other again, I hold you in my heart. XOXO Mom

"DEAR SUBSTITUTE part 2"

  Dear Substitute, Although we've never met, one little girl connects us. Because of your inhumane, devastating decision not to allow My daughter and I the chance to say goodbye, I can never respect you. You have no right to claim the title of "Mom". Your decision against us having closure, was in your best interests not Ahmi's. If the situation had been reversed, as a Mom myself, I can assure you I would have allowed the goodbye for Ahmi's sake. Part of being a Mother is putting your child's interests before your own petty jealousies and insecurities. I'd like you to consider this, the bond between her and I, the one that was so "threatening", that same bond allows her to bond with others. Yes, she was raised with love, attention, nurturing, patience, affection, enrichment, encouragement, etc... It's because of us that she's the Loving, Inquisitive, Joyful, Sweet, Kind, Bright, Awesome little girl that she is. Yes, I had a rotten marriage. I was/am a GREAT Mom! Obviously a better one than yourself. I put aside my feelings and arranged a visit with her B. mother. Despite having had to deal with S.  the first 15 months and to be honest, having felt relieved when she vanished. I did it for Ahmi. What will you say when she finds out you wouldn't allow her and I the chance to say goodbye? Will you be honest and tell her that you were jealous? That your feelings were more important? Nice mothering! Obviously putting her Interests before your own was something you were incapable of. Although for now you have the privilege of sharing her life, never forget I am waiting. I have constructed a well lit path for her to follow one day. If and when she searches for me, I will show the same compassion I received from you. Be assured on that day I will do everything in my power to take her from you! In fact I will not rest until I completely sever any ties between the two of you. You can do your best to erase me from her mind. Our hearts are bonded with love. You will not erase me from her heart. I have something you never will, the important years and all the memories that belong to her and I exclusively. She's going to want all of that knowledge. I'll be waiting with her baby journals and her scrapbook. Waiting to reclaim her. You should pray each night that she doesn't become a rebellious teen. If she EVER reaches out to me, I will always be her safe harbor. She always will be welcome and safe with me. I would never betray her! I'm right here, waiting. I believe the day will come...I pray you giggled and laughed today Sweetest Girl! I Love you Forever and Always plus One more Day! XOXO Mom ** Edited 12/24/2011

"FLYING TO BOSTON"

August of 2009 we traveled to Boston for the 2nd time. Big difference between 10 months and 30 months! Traveled much lighter this time! Lol! You were old enough to understand vacation which was awesome! The 1st day or 2 of our 1st trip were difficult for you. I'm sure it was a combination of; jet lag, strange place, strangers, confusion. You were okay after a bit. It was just something new. This time, you were recently out of diapers! Which was awesome! Even though we had about 15 mins. between each potty break, No accidents! We took a nonstop red eye, you were sound asleep w/in mins. of take off. Unlike myself, you were able to sleep most of the flight there. Just one of the many perks of being a child! Anyways, the part that stands out for me, even now; Early the next morning, we were descending into Boston. The Captain was making the standard,"welcome to Boston, weather here is..., Thanks for flying w/ us, etc...speech." Just as you began waking up. Suddenly you turned to me and said,"Mommy that man's bothering me. Could you please ask him to be quiet?" I couldn't help but laugh! After checking into the hotel, we discovered the bed requested for you was unavailable. Thankfully this was remedied w/ a chaise and ottomen in the room. We put them together and voila! Perfect instant bed! Although we only stayed a short time, we actually did a lot of visiting. In addition to a baby shower at my cousin Lori's house, a reunion cookout at Prospect Hill park,"the woods".** You LOVED "going for a walk in the woods w /Daddy!" Swimming in the hotel pool w/ Daddy was also a favorite activity! On our last full day, we managed a trip into Boston to the children's museum. Not bad for 6 days! I was so proud for everyone to meet you and see what a wonderful child you were! I love you sweet Ahmi girl! Forever and Always plus One more Day! I hope you giggled and laughed today! XOXO Mom ** Edited: 12/26/11

"WHAT DEFINES MOM"

"The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."-Sydney J. Harris
"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." - Oprah Winfrey

"Mom" IMO the greatest title a Woman can have in her lifetime. Aside from growing, carrying, and giving birth to a child. I've been thinking a lot the past ten months about other ways women become "Mom". Genny Wrocklage tried to minimize the relationship I shared with my daughter. In court I was reduced to the "caretaker". For myself, the biggest issue I have re: Social Workers is, they're not parents. They have no concept of being a parent, loving a child. In turn, they can't relate, there's no empathy. They look at the world with a young, inexperienced narrow viewpoint. My son grew under my heart. After 22 excruciating hours, he entered the world. It was love at first sight! 25 years later, a tiny, beautiful little girl came into my life. With the eyes of an old soul, she just lay quietly and looked at me. I wondered what had this baby been through in her first 3 months, that she seemed to look at life through much older eyes? From that first day, she began to grow in my heart. As time passed, she grew and thrived. The bond between us grew stronger as the days turned to weeks, months, and then to years. Along the way there was, life filled with, laughter, joy, love, a tear or two, many milestones to meet, and 3 eye surgerys to conquer. I believe loving, comforting, nurturing, teaching, all that goes into caring for a baby (3 mths.-4 yrs.), are all the acts of a Mom. I love both of my children. They both will always own a piece of my heart. My son showed me the meaning of a pure, emotional, over whelming love. He taught me what it means to love a child. My daughter means the world to me. I miss her and I love her just as much today as I did in Jan. At first, so much of what Genny Wrocklage said to me or about me was devastating. It was months before I finally got mad enough to fight for my self respect and my self esteem. Thus a blog was born. Through writing I've come to realize; She's not a parent. Therefore, she's incapable of relating as one. I will no longer allow her pointless judgements, lies, or statements haunt or define me. I also realize that my little girl will look for me one day soon. I'll have a lot to share with her on that day. I just need be patient and wait. Once we are reunited, we will never be separated again. No matter what the robots at CPS are able to do in the moment, no one will erase the loving bond that connects our hearts. I love you Ahmi! With every beat of my heart. I miss you and I yearn for the day I will see your beautiful face once again. Forever and Always plus One more day! I hope you smiled and laughed today! XOXO Mom

"DAYTIME NIGHTMARE"

224 Awful days! This daily constant nightmare SUCKS! It seems my brain is constantly wondering (imagining) how my daughter is coping. Is she blaming herself? Does she imagine that I stopped loving her? Does she think that she did something wrong? Having personnal knowledge of the useless garbage that has come from Genny Wrocklage only adds to the torture. I have no faith at all re: the way she interacted with Ahmi. She liked to pretend she knew her. You don't get to know a child by visiting them 30-45 mins. every few months. Especially when you don't have children. Until someone is a parent, they have no clue! I firmly believe that and will until my time on Earth is done. I just can't seem to stop looking and listening. On the freeway, in the stores, whenever I'm out. I catch myself always taking a second look. I think that soon I will take leave of this place for a bit. I do know that as soon as she is old enough to figure out FB or even just searching the Internet, she will have no trouble finding me. That is the day I am looking forward to. Because on that day, others will walk in my shoes and maybe will learn something about compassion and loss. Until that day finally comes, I truly hope and pray that she is letting someone know how she's doing. Unfortunately, she does tend to keep things to herself. I hope the people she's with have figured that much out by now. Of course if they're as delusional as the SW has been,... My poor darling.
Dear Ahmi, the consistent message I've heard is "She's doing great! Over her grief, etc..." Since that comes from the mouth of a liar, it's very little comfort to me. Sweetheart I hope and pray that each day brings a little more happiness and a lot less pain in your heart. I love you sweetest girl! Always and Forever plus One more Day! I never stopped, I never could! I'm waiting for your contact. Day or night 24/7. I'm here waiting sweetie. We have so much to talk about. I love you!